I laid in my bed that night, almost one year into college, and sobbed my eyes out. Because my roommate, Rachel, was sleeping only a few feet away I had to keep things quiet so she wouldn’t wake up and ask me what was wrong.
The truth was I didn’t know how to explain it. Tears spilled in silent rivers down my cheeks for most of that night.
For the majority of the school year I felt lost and aimless. Floating from group to group I hadn’t established any deep relationships. I felt alone and isolated and scared.
On this particular night I was almost certain that I was in the wrong place. Maybe Biola University wasn’t where God wanted me. Things sure hadn’t panned out like I planned.
In desperation, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I said a prayer. That night I asked the Lord to give me a reason to stay at Biola if that was where He wanted me. Otherwise, I would begin exploring other options for the following Fall. The very next day my phone rang and I was offered a part-time job as a secretary in the Student Missionary Union on campus.
Weeks earlier I had applied for the position, but since it was one of the most coveted jobs on campus I knew my chances were slim. When the call came I knew God was answering my prayer. But I still didn’t know just what was coming.
Later that week, I attended an orientation for new staff members and enjoyed meeting some of the other girls I would be sharing my position with. Jessi and Heidi were both different from me, and didn’t have a lot in common with each other, but they seemed fun just the same. We made plans to grab coffee on campus to get to know each other better.
What started as a one-time thing grew into a weekly Saturday night meeting at Starbucks that lasted an entire year. Jessi and Heidi and I went on trips together, did Bible studies together, constantly left encouraging notes for each other, and built into each other’s lives in a truly unique way.
Jessi moved away and got married at the end of our first year as friends, but the emails, the occasional weekend getaways and the friendship remained. When I got married in 2005 both she and Heidi were in my wedding.
This New Year’s Jessi and her husband flew down to spend a few days with Michael and me. And Heidi drove down with her serious boyfriend so we could all meet him. As I sat and laughed with these friends over old memories and recent happenings we were filling each other in on, I realized that these two girls have always been a symbol of God’s faithfulness to me.
They were the reason God gave me for staying at Biola when I was ready to leave because I was lonely. They were the people who stood by my side and supported me when I made the most important commitment of my life. And nine years after I met them, though life had taken us all down different paths, they were the people sitting beside me as I rang in a new year full of unknowns.
Lately I’ve been flooded with emails from girls who feel just as lonely as I did on the night I cried myself to sleep in my dorm room. Many of you write to me to tell me you don’t have many friends, and you don’t have any real friends at all. My heart breaks when I read your emails because I have been there before.
I encourage you to ask God to bring you a friend in 2010 that will still be your friend when we ring in 2020. And don’t limit Him in His answer. Don’t look for someone who is just like you. Instead, be open to finding a friend who can teach you things about yourself that you might not know. Look for friends who will point you toward God and His Word when life brings questions that are hard to answer. Ask God for a friend who will very much be “Jesus with skin on” for you in this season of life.
In the comments section today let’s talk about unexpected friends or great life-lessons we’ve learned from some of the people God has placed in our lives. I want to hear your friendship stories. So give a shout out to some of your BFFs and then let them know what you wrote about them so they can be encouraged!
