We live in a world where any teenage girl can be famous. Maybe not Miley Cyrus famous, but with a few clicks of your mouse you too can have hundreds of people following your every move.
If you’re anything like me you’re probably caught somewhere between wondering why anyone cares that you’re eating pepperoni and black olive pizza and feeling important because they do.
The reasons people like Facebook and Twitter can be summarized in five categories.
We want to feel important. For some people feeling important comes from having constant access to information. My childhood nickname was Scoop because I always knew what was going on with everyone in the neighborhood. I took a great deal of pride in being the one people could count on to know what was going on over the weekend or why someone hadn’t been around in awhile. Some people like online networking because it keeps them in the know. They don’t want to miss out on events. In fact, they want to be the ones to make important announcements.
We want to fit in. Some of us find comfort in having a place to belong. Those of us who come from broken homes, or who have moved a lot can have a hard time feeling like we have a solid community in the real world. Some of us like the comfort we find in online communities because it prevents us from feeling isolated. If you’re like me you get excited every time someone friend requests you. There’s something comforting about being wanted. No matter how surface level our online connections may seem, they still exist and for that we are grateful.
We want to be understood. Sometimes the only thing we’re looking for is someone who “gets it”. I remember some of the arguments I had with my parents during my senior year of high school. The pressure was mounting for me as I had to decide where I wanted to go to college. Because neither of my parents got to experience the traditional four-year university complete with life in the dorms, they were determined to give me the opportunity they missed out on. And I was grateful, but I was also stressed out.
My friends, who were experiencing the same anxiety, were the only ones who understood. Had online networking existed then, I could easily see myself logging on and seeking understanding from those in similar situations. It’s frustrating to live in a world where nobody around you empathizes with you.
We want to appear as something we’re not. It is easier to be confident from the other side of a computer screen than it is when you are face to face with people. I was asked to my senior prom over instant messenger. Later, my date confessed that he was too afraid I’d say no to ask me in person. Over instant messenger he appeared calm and nonchalant when he asked me to be his date.
We want to be loved. I get emails from people all over the world. Most are emails from girls who want me to know how my books have touched their lives. But occasionally I receive emails that read more like a confession than a friendly hello. Many of these emails come from out of the country. It’s almost like the further away people are physically the more comfortable they feel sharing their hidden sins. Just this week I received one.
“I’m too ashamed to tell anyone in my real life about this,” a girl wrote. “But the guilt has been nagging me and I just have to tell someone. You seemed safe.” As I read between the lines of her email it was as if I could hear her heart crying, Please tell me I’m not beyond being loveable. It reminded me of so many status updates I’ve read recently.
What about you? Why do you like social networking? What dangers do you need to be on the lookout for? Are there issues going on in your heart that affect how you interact online?
If you missed yesterday’s post, What is a Naked Facebooker?, you can read it here.
Tomorrow’s post–Curiosity: The Impulse to Gawk When Others Take it All Off
