Sometimes it can be so frustrating to watch all of your friends pairing off and getting boyfriends—especially when a school dance or other big event comes along.
Even though the man who will one day sweep you off your feet isn’t in your life today, it is important to remember that he is out there somewhere and you can be praying for him. The odds are in your favor, most people aren’t called to celibacy. Chances are you probably will get married even if it takes awhile.
The years spent waiting for your future husband don’t have to be wasted. On Wednesday we talked about how those years can be put to good use. But there’s another thing I want to mention before the week is out.
Every day you spend waiting is a day you can spend praying. I seriously began praying for the man I would marry when I was in college. Maybe it was the swarm of unattractive and immature guys around me that prompted me to pray for the man I would call mine. But I think it was something more than that.
I regularly prayed that the man God would have for me would have certain character qualities—patience, kindness, gentleness, godliness, etc…And I also prayed for his purity and that the Lord would be drawing him into a deeper relationship with Himself.
But there’s a period of months that still stands out distinctly in my mind. During that time I was prompted to pray that God would show my future husband that the relationship he was in was harmful and destructive. I wrote out a series of prayers in my journal asking God to give this man—whom I didn’t know—strength and resolve to end the relationship. I felt so strongly that this is what I should be praying that I prayed these prayers every night—and I wrote about them and dated them in my journal.
Years later when I began dating my husband the topic of past relationships came up. He only had one—during that very same period of months. It was destructive and he ended the relationship right around the time my burden to pray those prayers stopped. (My old journals serve as a written testimony in case there are any skeptics out there.)
I will never forget the look of amazement on Michael’s face when I told him about my old journals and those prayers. He was stunned and overcome with emotion all at the same time. The fact that God could be prompting my heart to pray about specific circumstances in his life when I didn’t even know him was truly an amazing thing.
So, take some time (it doesn’t have to be every day) and pray for your future husband. Ask God to build traits of godliness in him and make him a strong leader. Pray that God will give him boldness—especially when it comes to pursuing you when the time is right. Don’t be afraid to pray for his sexual purity and protection even from pure relationships with the wrong girls.
You may be amazed at what God will do. Keep a written record of your prayers with a date next to them so that someday you can have a written testimony of what God did in your love story long before you even knew the man you would marry.
What are some things you can (or do) pray for your future husband? Do you do anything special like keep a journal of letters to him? What are some ways you can take your longing for a relationship and turn it into something productive?
Tags: Dating, future husband, Prayer
That’s an amazing story, Shannon! I’m gonna get started on that right away.
Great blog! Maybe the best one yet! I started praying for my future husband everyday when I was in 8th grade, and I also keep a journal that I write letters to him. I hope that someday in the future when I get married, I’ll be able to give those letters to him.
I wrote letters to my future husband, too, Sarah! It was fun to actually be able to give them to him when we got married – keep it up; he’ll love it!
I think that is a really good idea. I think being single is not a punishment, but it is God giving you a time to gro and prosper in His word. If I had a boyfriend when I became a Christian, I would not have been able to know God in sucha personal way! Great blog Shannon I am gonna start writing letters and parying right away!
I really appreciate you writing about waiting for the right guy to come along!
I am really grateful that God has blessed me to be content with being single at this point in my life!! When I think about God already having planned who I’m going to marry and when I think about how He’s already preparing both of us (in so many ways, including the things that happen in our lives), I get really excited! I will definitely by praying for my future husband!! God is an awesome God and greatly to be praised!!
I remember the first time that I made “the list.” You know, the list of qualities that you wanted in a mate. I was in 6th grade on a true love waits retreat. I have prayed…sometimes more faithfully than others…but I have prayed for him ever since.
Over the years, I have made tweaks to the list and have often looked back to those first attempts and laughed.
I’m currently 24. Still have a list. Right now I’m pretty content with my singleness, but about two years ago I was really struggling.
In my dreams, I had always thought I would be married right out of college. As graduation approached, I became more and more upset and sought my mentor for some guidance. She gave me some of the best advice. Something that you touched on.
She encouraged me to read over my list of qualities that I was looking for in a mate and envision him. That wasn’t hard at all! Then she told me to imagine that I was that mate and write down the qualities that HE would be looking for in a mate.
I found myself with a list of areas to work on. Who knows, Mr. Perfect-for-me may not be here because God isn’t through with ME yet.
Thanks again for sharing your heart! I’ve loved this series!
Danielle: I’m so glad you are getting started right away! You won’t regret time you invest in praying for that man
Sarah and Heidi: I love that you keep a journal for him! What a fabulous gift to give him–imagine the testimoy a journal like that could tell!
Penny: You are right! Being single in NOT a punishment. God is drawing you closer to Himself. God’s deepest desire is intimacy with you–what a thought!
Lydia: You are right! Gos is ordering the events of both of your lives! Someday it will be awesome to sit down and talk about how certain cirumstances and waiting periods helped bring you together and prepare you for each other. God is great
Lindsey: You are so right! Sometimes God makes us wait because He has some work to do in US! Your heart to humbly submit to Him is evident. He will bring the right man to you at just the right time!
Shannon, i remember your mother telling us of how she kept her prayer journals and would include you in the process and habit of recording what God was saying/doing… it’s a beautiful testimony to the legacy she has passed on to you! I love seeing His will unfold in your life
thank you for being there for us “Mothers of Girls”
because of Jesus,
Pam Hembree
Pam: My mom did keep journals of prayers. I learned that trick (and many others) from her. She told me recently that she used to have one square of tile in our old house that was her “Pam tile”. Every week when she cleaned the floor she would stop at that tile and pray for you
Wow, Thanks for sharing all this.. I just happen to come across this website when I was looking for ppl that were sharing testimonies on how they knew that, that was their husband..
The older we get, the more desperate we become.. But I re alize that it has been through those times of singlehood, that the Lord have changed me and taken me to a deeper level. I thought that I was ready to get marry but when the Lord showed me that I need to have such a deeper relationship with the lord, I began to give all of my heart’s desires up to the lord.. That he will take care of it and t urn all things around.. I knew what it was to have a relationship with God, but I wasn’t in the deep level yet.. He wants us to marry him first.. He wants to be romantic with us, he wants to love us.. THe same desires you have for your husband, God wants it with you.. He wants you to be with him.. God is a jealous God and he doesnt share you with anyone else.. Your husband is a gift from God that Godchoose to give us becaue he loves us.. God’s grace should be enough and when we understand that God’s grace is enough for our lives, everything else will fall into place.. Everything that God has promised us, would come to pass.. God is amazing.. I am so in love with God, that I know my husband has to be so into GOd th be able to find me and see me as his wife.. God will bring you two together in teh right time.. HE is preparing me to be a wife, and he is preparing him to be a husband. Sometimes we make the mistake thinking, Im already ready, my husband needs the work.. But no, God showed me that is both of us.. There are areas in my life that God is bringing out for me to see and ones I see, the lord be gins to change me.. But as we wait to receive what God has promised us, PRAY constantly for ur hus band.. Pray for ur ministry as a wife, pray for your future family.. And with prayer, also fast.. THere are certain spirits that may be keeping ur future husband in bondage, like rejection and fear.. Pray for those things to be cast out so that they would pursuit you in God’s timing, with no fears.. JUST PRAY>
Marangely: I’m so glad you found my blog
You are right, God is using this time to prepare both you and your husband. And praying for him now is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your husband in the future 
I also pray for my future husband; it is a good reminder to leave him in God’s hands and not to try to jump ahead of God!
A quick question: What do you think happens if say a woman prayed for her future husband, but never got married, died young or remained single her whole long life? Do you think God used her prayers to help her trust more in Him, did He apply those prayers to a man who really needed them, someone who remained single himself, maybe? Is there anything in the Bible that talks about this?
Rachelle,
This is a very good question. Prayer builds our relationship with God. Just this week in Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest I read: “It is not so much that ‘prayer changes things’ as that prayer changes me and I change things…Prayer is not a question of altering things externally, but of working wonders in a man’s disposition.”
In this case, I think God would use that woman’s prayers to build deeper intimacy with Him even if what she is praying for never comes to pass for one reason or another.
Hi Shannon,
I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed reading your article. I am actually Muslim, but we believe in similar values such as chastity, the immense power of prayer, and strengthening your relationship with God. I’m 23 right now and like some of your readers, also thought I’d be married by the time I graduated from college! But then I realized that God wants me to take advantage of the time I have now to pray, better myself and help others so that I’m ready when He wants me and my future husband to meet. Thanks for writing! Peace.
Muslimgirl: I’m so glad you found my blog and that this post encouraged you. I think singleness after college is is a huge issue for women no matter what their faith background is. You may be interested in visiting a new website I just started writing for: http://www.sheseeks.org It explores a lot of the issues 20-something women wrestle with. Thanks for your comment. I’m glad you stopped by
Shannon. I am a senior in college and I have a journal I write in for my future husband that i started when i was a freshman in college. Any suggestions for things I can include for him in this journal? I am dating a man that I believe is the one so its hard not to put him as the one its for and write things i believe he would want to hear. I just want an objective view. Thanks.
djackson: Great question! And I like that you are still trying to be objective even though you are dating someone. Very wise!
Pray for things like spiritual maturity, strong leadership abilities, purity, confidence in Christ, direction during this season of life, etc… What are some of the things you pray for him now?
Those are great suggestions! I mostly prayer for our future. Our relationship and our children we will have and that the Lord will help us through the things we go thru now. Emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
I have been praying for a husband since I was 12.
I am 17 now and God has shown incredible kindness, love and mercy towards me. I have recently began journaling and writing love letters and entries.
I have passed silently my future husband twice while walking in the estate. Because God was working according to His perfect timing, the time was not right to speak. God has revealed to me that the third time we meet will be the time we become ONE…actually be THE RIGHT TIME.
I have, with the help of the Holy Spirit undergone an INTENSE personal transformation. I believe I have kept the strict restraint that God has commanded of me.
MY FUTURE HUSBAND WILL BE MY DATE ON SATURDAY 13TH FEBRUARY 2010 FOR A MOVIE AND BIRTHDAY BASH. This is God plan for me. May all the Glory be His, and may His will be done. This I ask in the name of Christ Jesus.
Shannon,
I loved your blog. I am 15 years old and I already write letters to my future husband and I also pray for him. This made me feel a lot better about myself, I love being able to see that it will pay off in the long run. You are great at inspiring people. I know right now in high school, it might be the “cool” thing to have a boyfriend but I want to save myself for my future husband because I believe that he deserves all of me. I think being single is good because then I can focus on my relationship with God, and can continue to make myself a better person. I think God will decide when I and my future husband are ready to meet (even if that means we are both 80 years old!) I don’t think there should be a time line on a true transformation. When God decides we are ready, he will bring us together. Thank you for sharing you story, it honestly does inspire and give young girls like myself hope!
Morgan: I am so excited that you were encouraged by this post. You are right–there are a lot of benefits to singleness in your teen years and God will bring you and your future husband together at just the right time. And, in the meantime, none of your prayers for him are wasted
My boyfriend and I recently broke up due to something major that happened in the past between us. Also because we have other little issues such a fussing over small things that has caused a shift in our feelings towards each other. We aren’t in love anymore and that hurts. I’m so heart broken thinking that he may not be able to get past certain feelings he has about what happened and if the deep love we once had for one another will return. He feels we should both focus on our own personal issues in our separate lives for now and put the relationship to the back burner. He thinks its best to part ways but I am afraid this time we may not reconnect even though we have done this before and he says its hard not to ever see me again. Logically, some space sounds like it makes sense but I really want to be with him now because we have been in each others lives for four years and always have kept a strong bond. I pray on it and really think we have great potential as a future couple. We have both spoken about it before but now that we have split again, I’m afraid of a future not happening. We are both confused about what to do. What are we doing wrong? What can we do? What can I do to ease this pain? I pray for the Lord to tell me if we are meant to be but I’ve gotten no clear response. What should I do? I need some assurance that we will one day be back together because I truly believe we have great potential. Please help. Thank you.
Pumpkin,
Thanks for sharing your story. I’ve been in a similar place before. The best thing you can do is surrender this relationship to the Lord. Give it up and be willing to walk away if God shows you He has something better. Instead of praying for God to give you this guy, ask God to work in you. Focus your attention on growing and changing into who God wants you to be.
God’s plans for you are to prosper you and not to harm you–to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). This guy might be part of those plans later down the road. But if not, even though it is hard to believe, it’s only because God has something better.
I wasted years praying that God would allow me to marry a specific guy. I didn’t understand why He said no until I married my something better. Now, I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
Hey Shannon:
my name is fiorela. When i was 12 years old, my grandma told me to write in a paper, how do i want my husband! and pray for over him every day! So i did! I now move into the united states, and this guy, to my eyes, he is the most amazing guy i ever met! yesterday my grandma read me the paper i wrote when i was 12, and he is exactly how i wrote it when i was little! I’m now praying for him… and I want to find a bible verse to pray with this topic!… Do you know of any one?
Fiorela,
I would find verses on living a godly life–being strong in the Lord, fleeing temptation, trusting God, being a leader, etc…and pray those verses over your future husband. Pray for him to bear much fruit, etc…Look for verses that outline what the will of God is for all believers. Then you can pray with confidence knowing God will answer your prayers.
What a great story you have. Thanks for sharing.
That was a very inspiring testimony. I have been feeling very alone for the past 3 years, when I was 18 received a call from the Lord and accepted I am now 21. I’m finding things to be difficult but that may just because of my general lack of people around me. This concept of praying for your future husband I have heard before and never really did it but as I move closer toward God and desire His ways more than my own, I think it will be something I commit to even though it feels odd to me. I’m just tired of being alone and without the prospect of feeling loved. Things are much better than they used to be I don’t feel totally alone like I used to last year in Uni. I must hold fast to His love it is the only real and consistent thing I know of which is comforting, not one dot shall pass from His word.
Is it ok to describe to God what we really want in a Future Husband?
Hi Shannon.. I have a question for you. When you made a list did you tell God when you wanted to meet him and how you woukd know he was the one?
I love your testimony
actually I am searching for
testimonies like these
something that can boost our courage
and faith . thank you very much for sharing
I will start making letters for my future husband
and continually live in God will.
Hi Shannon,
I’ve known a guy for 4 years now and I have been praying on and off for him to show some interest in me. Is it wrong to ask God to let this man love me in the way that I love him? I wish that one day we could be husband and wife. Please let me know your answer to this.
Thanks
Angie
Angie,
You can always ask God to change that man’s heart, but you also need to be open to the fact that God might have someone else for you. Don’t get your heart on someone who doesn’t seem to share your feelings when someone wonderful might be right in front of your face or just around the corner.
Interestingly, very much
Shannon,
I have written briefly to my future wife and was searching googs when I came across this. Many great ideas that apply to my situation as well, so thank you. Lately I have been dealing with the question of how might God let me know who the right girl is? I feel like I might pass up the opportunity. There has been a girl that I have gotten to know for a little over a year now and we are just really close friends. I want to talk with her about it but am far too scared because I think we are too good of friends and that I can’t just mention these feelings two years later..She also is “dating” a mormon boyfriend who is on his mission for another year and the bf and too late are my two biggest hesitations but I feel like I can’t go on without her in my life. I have prayed for discernment about it, but I haven’t received any signs obvious to me. Just reply with something if ya would.
Thanks
Hi,
Thanks for stopping by! I’m glad a guy could find some of my insights helpful too
I don’t know many 18-year-old guys who are actually financially ready to be married so I don’t hear from many guys on this topic. If you aren’t quite ready to be married, and you’re looking for a girl you could be married to, then here’s what I suggest.
Make a list of qualities you would love to see in your future wife. Look for a girl who exhibits those qualities and get to know her as a friend. But once you begin to have romantic feelings be upfront about them. Prayerfully pursue her and see how she responds. If she is interested in being more than friends then date and test the waters. If not, then you’ll know she wasn’t the one.
I hope that helps!
I really did enjoy reading this blog as i have learnt stuff. but then again is it sinful to pray bout ur ideal husband eventhough anither one has been prophetically envisioned
I see that this was posted quite awhile back, but I wanted to ask you girls if you have ever read the book “Praying for your future husband” by Robin Jones Gunn & Tricia Goyer. It just came out in May of this year (2011) and I read it earlier this week.
I HIGHLY recommend it! It not only tells you to pray for your future husband, but ways to pray for him! That’s where I really struggled when trying to pray for my FH…what to pray for. This book has been a HUGE help to me and a great encouragement
I noticed that some of you girls (when you wrote your comments) were in your early to mid-teens and I wish I had prayed daily when I was that age – I am 21 now and only starting to pray daily for him…now that I know how to pray for him
Be Blessed!
Hi,Shannon
Since I was 15 years old I started praying for my future partner not taking it seriously but beacuse my mum always encouraged me to do so.
To be honest I was still confused if God would really bring that person someday into my life. I”m now 23 and have dated guys but m not into or thinking about marriage.
However recentlyI’ve been having strange dreams & the weird thing is that they’re all about weddings and there”s this particular guy I keep on seeing in my dream but have never met him in person.I kept on praying to God to confirm & it’s like “BANG” God is just revealing his word to me through pastors,family etc… the only thing is for me to pray & wait and see God’s fulfillment come to pass..
It’s so incredible I’ve never experienced such things as this before,this just shows how great God is. What’s impossible with man is always possible to God!!!
What can write to my husband? My mom tells me to pray but what can I pray for???
Hi, Katie,
Great question! You can pray for things like godliness, spiritual discipline, purity, character, etc…The book Praying for Your Future Husband by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer has some GREAT insights on specifics you can pray and even has a few guided prayers and journaling exercises. You might like it.
Hello Shannon,
How did u meet Mic and how sure were u that he is the special one????
This is quite amazing! I have for sometime now been having the problem of waiting patiently for my Godly chosen queen. So it just occurred to me today to go to google and search “how to wait for your future wife” and your blog was the fifth i saw so i just clicked and the story came up.
It may interest u to know that the part which nearly got me off my seat was the account u gave concerning your husband. Just like Michael, i had just one relationship which also looked destructive but i was just too blind to see that i was “digging my own grave” by clinging to the relationship. But someway somehow, the relationship dramatically ended abruptly after the lady left by herself even without saying goodbye. But upon sober reflection, it dropped in my mind that I was going the wrong way and God saved me and your account concerning Michael and those prayers u said and wrote, has probably given me the thought that, it might be my future wife who stepped in with her prayers and rescued me. If so, then she also deserves the same from me!
But i have one question for u
God bless u for your wonderful block, it has really lifted up my spirit!!
Hello, my name is Vanessa. I am 21 now. Since I was 17, I had been writing and praying for my FH and for him, I always thought I always the only one to write a journal or pray for him, his health, well being and that God helps guide us together.I was saving for marriage and I gave it up this year to a jerk. I feel bad but through prayers and writing in my journals telling my feelings I feel better and hopefully my FH will forgive me. I thought being single was a burden, no its not. I had learned that through God. This was truly inspiring. Thank you for everyone and I enjoyed reading everyone’s comments. Brought me to tears. God Bless…<3
Hi, I’m Maria, 20 years old. I just broke up with my boyfriend. I was so depressed, didn’t know what to do. He was my first love and he had everything I could ever want from a guy. He was charming, mature, handsome, smart, and etc. But different religion and his overbearing personality set us apart. I’ve been sitting around feeling miserable for days and then suddenly the thought of meeting my future husband came up. I googled it and then found your blog. Thank you so much for strengthening me, I’ll be starting to pray for my future husband… I’m really looking forward to meeting him. I know he’s out there, and God is getting both of us prepared for our future together. Amen. God bless you
Hi Shannon!
i have been praying for my future husband and now i’m thinking to write letters for him…and i’m excited! it’s just that i really like a man in the church now and when start praying for my future husband, that man’s face would just pop in my mind. I was attracted to him because of his faith and character…i don’t want to think that he is the one. i don’t know if i should consider that as a distraction and not mind about it. or should i pray for that man.
Howdy! This post could not be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this page to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!
It is the best time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I want to read even more things about it!
I wrote a song related to this subject entitled “Wait Upon The Lord” and made a video to go with it. I stumbled on your site trying to find outlets to share the song, which was inspired by my wife’s college years prayer journal. She waited, but made mistakes while waiting, but God still remained faithful.
Thank you for your site and how you’re encouraging young women, hopefully our song would encourage others as well.