Deep down, many of us are afraid of failing. More of us are probably afraid of criticism. None of us want to be told that our dreams can’t be made into reality or that we don’t have what it takes.
I don’t think there’s a soul alive that could be more afraid of criticism and failure than me.
Yet, I work in an industry where agents and editors scrutinize your work before they decide if they want to offer you a contract and other writers publicly critique your work once it’s complete and call it a review. Just today I lost a great opportunity because I don’t have enough Facebook friends or comments on my blog.
I could have cried about it. But I didn’t. Instead I shrugged it off and went back to work on the project I’m in the middle of. If anything, the lost opportunity made me work harder to be excellent. People are watching and I’m representing Christ.
I’m no expert in overcoming the fear of failure. In fact, I’m probably one harsh comment away from my next meltdown. But there are a few things I have learned about overcoming the fear of failure. I want to share three of them with you today.
1) Understand that failure and/or criticism won’t kill you. I know someone who tried out for American Idol recently. She was turned down in two cities. Do you know what she’s doing now? Fixing the things they told her they didn’t like and planning on traveling to a third city. This friend got turned down twice. Her “flaws” and mistakes were pointed out twice.
Each time she fixed what they suggested, improved as a singer and continued toward her goal. She could have stopped in the first city and cried herself to sleep for weeks. But she didn’t. She trusted the judgment of experts and decided to grow in the process. Even if she doesn’t make the show this season, she’ll probably be a better singer from the professional critique.
2) Do things that scare you. If you never expose yourself to the possibility of failure, if you never put yourself in a situation where you can be criticized, you will probably never do anything that really matters. Last week I went to a conference for professional writers and speakers, and I signed up to be critiqued by a group of my peers. Don’t think I wasn’t terrified. I was so nervous I could hardly see straight. But I knew I would never get better as a speaker if I didn’t put myself in an environment where I could figure out where I needed to improve. So I sought out a safe place where I could get the kind of feedback I needed.
I do the same thing with my writing. It goes to a team of people I trust to honestly critique it before it ever finds its way to an editor. Every time I see an email in my inbox from someone who is giving me feedback I have to calm my queasy stomach before I can open her email. But my work is always better for it.
3) Don’t assume that God’s plans are ruined when yours are. Psalm 138:8 says that the Lord will fulfill His purpose for each of us. That means His plans for us aren’t ruined even when our plans for ourselves are. My senior year of high school I ran for senior class president. I lost the race by a narrow margin. A few weeks later I was offered the position of yearbook editor. Instead of spending my senior year politicking I spent it up to my elbows in publishing—fitting when you consider my future.
God knew then the plans He had mapped out for me. He had to disappoint me before He could exceed my expectations. My time as the yearbook editor was part of what made me choose to pursue journalism and writing in college.
When you trust a sovereign God who has good plans for you—plans to prosper you and not harm you—like Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, then you don’t need to fear failure. God is in control. Even if you experience a few disappointments and setbacks along the way, He will fulfill His purpose for you. Of that you can be sure.
How has a past failure or criticism helped you? Explain how something that once scared you became a growing experience when you were willing to step out in faith. Has there been a time in your life where God had to disappoint your plans to fulfill His plans for you?
