This month’s Fan Mail Friday questions pertain to writing and how I got started. You can also hear me talk about my passion for the New York Yankees.
If you have a question you would like me to answer in a future edition of Fan Mail Friday you can send it to fanmailfriday AT beingagirlbooks.com (replace AT with @).
Happy Fall!
Last weekend I was driving to my parent’s house. In order to get there I have to take a windy road that cuts through the mountains in the Cleveland National Forest. Over the years I’ve made the trek so many times that I’ve memorized the curves in the road. Although I can’t see what awaits me on the other side of each turn I’m able to visualize the road in my mind.
Although weather, construction and other cars can provide some sense of variation on my journey, knowing the curves keeps me pretty well equipped for my drive.
If only the curves of life could be memorized.
Imagine being able to navigate through the trials and disappointments of life knowing what awaited you on the other side. Setbacks would mere delays instead of life altering events. Disappointed expectations would be gentle redirections. Peace would reign and panic would be banished from our lives.
But we can’t memorize the curves of life. Cancer still ravishes bodies. Dads continue to walk out on families. Friends betray friends. Sometimes, no matter how prepared we are, life takes us by surprise. Every drive down the road of life isn’t the same. We don’t always arrive at our destinations unscathed.
Yet there is another option that is even better than memorizing the curves, but we tend to overlook it. While we cannot predict the outcome of our circumstances we can learn to rely on the faithfulness of God. We can trust Him in the unknown. We can put our full weight on His reliability in the midst of the confusing and devastating things of life.
When life floods us with problems we can’t solve, heartache we can’t fix and circumstances that are less than ideal we can rest assured in one thing:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” –Romans 8:28
What are the first three words of that verse? And we know…We what? We know. What do we know? That in all things God is working for the good of those who love Him.
Now, God’s perspective of good and our idea of it can be two totally different things. Remember, God can see what lies beyond the next curve and you can’t. What you see as good might be outshined by something that God can see is better. So, He may withhold something from you that looks like it would be just what you need because in His wisdom and sovereignty He knows that really it would do you harm.
So, instead of lamenting the fact that you can’t memorize the curves in life, spend your time memorizing the character traits of the One who can see further down the road than you can.
I smiled. He didn’t smile back. So I quickly looked at the ground and kept walking. It was a glorious Sunday afternoon and I certainly didn’t want to catch his wrath. If he didn’t want to be polite, I wouldn’t try to make him.
Lately, I’ve noticed a very grumpy man at church. I would estimate he’s somewhere in his late fifties. He helps out and seems to have his hand in everything the church is doing, but I’ve heard him yell at other volunteers and almost growl at churchgoers that stop to ask simple questions.
A few weeks ago I even caught myself silently praying that God would grab him by the scruff of his neck and tell him to get it together. The woman he yelled at was embarrassed and nearly in tears.
During worship grumpy man happened to sit a few rows in front of me. I noticed his hands were raised to the heavens and he was singing his heart out. This was after he yelled at the poor woman at the information table. What a hypocrite, I initially found myself thinking. Worshiping God and yelling at His people.
This past Sunday things were different though. Don’t get me wrong, grumpy man was still grumpy as he scowled at a man who asked if there was more cream for the coffee and donut table. But the way I viewed him changed.
Instead of seeing his grumpy, snarled face, I tried to look past his actions and see the pain that might be causing him to behave like this. There was no wedding band on his finger. Did his wife leave him? Did she pass away? Had he spent his entire life single? My guess is that somewhere along the line something happened to make grumpy man grumpy.
I tried to view grumpy man through God Goggles—I tried to see Him the way God does. I can’t really call grumpy man a hypocrite without calling myself one too. I also have bad days. Sometimes I yell at innocent people, or I think too highly of myself. But I’m not sure that God would call either of us hypocrites.
Instead, I think He might see us as works in progress. God doesn’t just see the way we act, He sees the wounds festering beneath the surface of our lives that sometimes cause us to act out of our pain instead of out of healing. Although He never condones our sin, He does offer to clean us up if we are willing.
If there was ever a person who blew it in Scripture Peter was it. A disciple of Christ, Peter always seemed to let Jesus down. First, Peter fell asleep when Jesus asked Him to pray for Him in His darkest hour. Then, Peter denied that he even knew Christ not once but three times. If that wasn’t enough, when Jesus wanted to restore Peter, Peter began asking why John might be given a better ministry.
Peter was a man of faltering faith. One minute he was walking on water, the next he was sinking. One day he was following Jesus claiming he would die for Him, the next he went back to fishing because Jesus was dead and all hope was lost. Most would call him a failure.
But there was one thing Peter wasn’t—a hypocrite. Sure, Jesus called Peter out on his little faith. But He never accused him of being inauthentic. Instead, Jesus reserved those words for a select few. Jesus saved those words for the religious elite. The Pharisees. In Matthew 6:5 He points out that they always tried to look like they had it all together. They thrived on the appearance of looking like they were close to God when their hearts were really far from Him.
Jesus had room in His life for people who were fumbling their way through life blowing it on more than one occasion. The people He had no tolerance for were the ones who always had their act together.
While I still have concerns about grumpy man being in such an upfront role in my church, I’m trying to view Him through God Goggles. When I do, I see a Peter. And if there’s one person I can sure relate to, it’s Peter.
Who knows? Maybe one day grumpy man and I will even be friends. But first, I’ll have to get him to smile.
Fan Mail Friday has been postponed until next Friday. But in the meantime I want to share a quote that always gives me something to think about:
“What comes to our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”
–A.W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy
What do you think about that?
About a year ago I played air hockey with my friend’s two-year-old son. He stood on a chair so he was tall enough to reach the table. The sound of the electronic air fascinated him and he laid his blonde head on the table with his ear down just to hear the hum. But just as much as he was intrigued by the table, he enjoyed the actual game. For a toddler, he was a fierce competitor.
He’d zing the puck toward me and I’d tap it to him trying not to make a goal. Whenever he has an especially nice hit he’d punctuate it with, “Whoa! Dat’s fast!” After about 15 minutes of play I was growing tired, so I decided to let him win. When the puck came sailing down the table and stopped just short of the goal I tapped it in and victoriously shouted, “Yeah! One point for Carter!”
He wasn’t buying it. “Hey!” He yelled in a tone that implied what I’d done wasn’t fair. Thinking he’d let it go if I didn’t address the issue I sent the puck back toward him. With a michevious look on his face he tapped it in the goal and exclaimed, “Yeah! One point for Shannon!”
I was stunned. Quickly I looked around to see if anyone else noticed what just happened. Carter and I were the only ones by the table. So, I smiled at him and kept playing. No more favors. Carter wanted to win on his own.
When I got home that night I began to think about Carter’s cute antics and what they said about me. I’m a person who likes to play fair. Don’t give me a handout. I want to earn the prize myself. Now, that’s not a bad thing when it comes to work ethic. But it could be detramental if it becomes the way I view my relationship with God.
Although I’ve been a Christian for years and know it isn’t true, I feel like God loves me more on days when I’m working harder and doing more for Him. Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to prove my maturity, or that I deserve to be counted among the saints who will enter the gates of heaven. If I have more I can point to I feel safe.
During seasons of life where my acts of obedience and service are less obvious, or when God calls me to rest for what’s next, I fell like Carter did when I hit the puck in the goal for him–like I’m not doing enough. Like the prize really isn’t mine.
Although obedience is an integral part of the Christian life, the truth is God loves us even on days when we blow it. Even on our best days heaven isn’t earned by our efforts. As Christians we’ve got to get rid of our tendency to try to earn our own worth or prove our value to God.
Romans 4:5 says, “But to him who does not work but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness.”
Righteousness does not come through works. It comes by grace through faith. Unearned. Even on our bad days. Want proof that God still sees us as righteous on our bad days?
Proverbs 24:16 says, “For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again…”
Falling. Failing. Blowing it. Whatever you want to call it the righteous man is doing it yet God still counts him as righteous. How is that possible? Our righteous standing is not determined by what we do. It’s determined by what Christ has already done.
So, do yourself a favor. Stop trying to make life fair. Stop trying to earn your own righteousness. Recognize that the only way you’re getting into heaven is with a free pass. Let your obedience be an outpouring of love and not a process of trying to earn your own way.
At the air hockey table of life, today is a day in which we can all exclaim, “Yeah! One point for me!” Even if we didn’t bring our best game.
Happy Monday! I wanted to kickoff this week by letting you know about a fun and exciting contest being offered by my friends over at Real Teen Faith.
If you are fluent in text messaging, this contest is for you! Here’s the info they sent me:
Admit it, you’re obsessed with texting. You can text anywhere – especially places you’re not supposed to – like through your book bag in algebra class when you think the teacher isn’t looking.
And I bet you’ve texted in some of the weirdest places and would love to brag to the world about it, and make a little cash while you’re at it. You’re in luck, because that’s what this contest is all about! So grab your video camera and make a video of yourself or get a friend to videotape you doing crazy stuff while texting in all the weirdest and coolest places you can fit into a clip under thirty-seconds. For contest guidelines click here . But hurry, contest ends November 26!
A $30 i-Tunes gift card for texting in crazy places? Hmmm….sounds like it might be worth it to me! If you choose to enter let me know. I definitely want to see your video.
A few weeks ago I headed to the mall to run an errand. While there I decided to peruse the dress section of Macys to see if anything caught my eye.
I have a family wedding and an awards gala for my husband’s company to attend in the next few months, so I was looking for a dress that would work for both occasions.
But here’s the thing. I have a strict “never go shopping for important events alone” policy. I usually take my mom because she’s not afraid to be honest. There’s been more than one time when I put something back on the rack because she could see it from an angle I couldn’t and let me know what others would see if I wore that particular outfit.
Having lost a significant amount of weight earlier this year I had a new found confidence walking into the dress section and thought I would be fine flying solo. Several dresses appealed to me, but there was a green dress I just loved. The color nicely complimented my red hair and pale skin, and the empire waistline was flattering to my newly slimmed figure.
When I tried it on I looked from every angle to the best of my ability. I agonized over whether this was the dress I wanted to wear in front of all of my in-laws and all of my husbands colleagues. Would my husband like my dress? What would my mom say if she were with me? A million questions raced through my mind.
Finally, I gave in and bought it since it was on sale and I had a coupon. I loved the dress, I already had shoes to go with it and it came in under my budgeted amount. What could be better, right? If every shopping trip were that successful I might not have such a love-hate relationship with the mall.
But as I drove home I felt a pit growing in my stomach. Did I make the right choice? Did the sleeveless style make my arms look fat? Should I have gone with a floor length gown instead of a knee-length party dress? What if I suddenly fell off the wagon and gained my weight back before I actually had to wear the dress?
I never knew it was possible to think twelve thoughts at once until I was driving home from the mall and every negative notion I could possibly have assaulted me.
Insecurity is a funny thing. Not only does it cause us to see everything in a depressing light, but it also prevents us from being able to see anything but ourselves. Suddenly I wasn’t thinking about the bride and groom at this wedding and how they were embarking on their new life together. I wasn’t thinking about my husband and how hard he worked to win the awards he would be receiving at his company function. All I could think about was me—and what I would look like at these two big events.
Neither event is about me. I’m not the star of either show. If I am going to enjoy either event I have to change my perspective and fast. I need to get back into the celebratory spirit of what these events represent. And I need to start thinking about the people I am going to honor.
The words of Philippians 2:3 seem appropriate here: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”
Have you been caught up in selfish ambition or vain conceit? Do you need a firm reminder that life really isn’t all about you? How do you tend to struggle with being green with insecurity and what can you do to combat it?
I was cold. It was early and I knew that a cup of tea would be just the thing to warm me up. So I put the kettle on and stood there waiting for the water to boil.
I waited and waited. It seemed to be taking so long that I examined the clock to see if something was wrong with it. The minutes were ticking away but my water wasn’t boiling. Finally, in exasperation, I ventured back upstairs to get my slippers. That’s when I heard it. My kettle was whistling. The water was finally ready.
As I sipped my tea I began to think about a circumstance in my life that I was waiting to see change. For over a year I had been expectantly waiting on God to move in this area and He hadn’t. And with each passing week I was becoming more and more agitated.
Just as I was staring at the tea kettle waiting for the water to boil, I had been staring at my circumstance waiting for it to change. It quickly became an all consuming passion. I lived and breathed to see the outcome I wanted. Certainly, this change would glorify God. So what was He waiting for? Why would He deny me of something that would bring Him much glory?
Through his current sermon series my pastor was able to walk me through some truths I desperately needed to be reminded of:
As I began to process these truths I began to realize that if everything God did was for His glory then when He looked at my circumstance and my future He saw that greater glory could come from either a delay in what I was asking or through an entirely different plan altogether. Knowing that helped me see this delay of action in a different light.
Recognizing that God ultimately has my best interest at heart (Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11) also helped me reevaluate my circumstance too. Getting what I wanted now (and maybe even ever—that part still remains to be seen) obviously isn’t good for me, or God would have moved in and taken action by now. So, really His failure to act is His way of protecting me from danger, going down the wrong path or settling for second best.
He can see my calendar six months from now. I can’t. He can see my calendar six years from now. I can’t. Because God has the ability to see into the future and recognize the struggles, triumphs, dangers and victories that await me He knows exactly what to schedule into my life and when.
That’s a hard truth for a control freak like me. It’s not easy to come to terms with the fact that staring at the tea kettle isn’t going to make it boil any faster. Water boils at its own speed. God moves on His own clock.
So on a day like today when there are many things I don’t understand about God and the mystery of His ways, I’m going to choose to rely on the things I do know: God loves me and His plans for me are good.
And now I’m going to make another cup of tea—at whatever speed the water chooses to boil.
Imagine if you lost everything you had over night. Intense rains came pouring down washing away every possession you owned, taking your dreams—and maybe even some of your loved ones—with it.
About a month ago that became a reality for many of the people in Burkina Faso (West Africa). Issouf, my sponsor child I told you about on Monday, and his family live there. Although I’m not sure about the status of their frail home, I do know that 150,000 people who lived in extreme poverty to begin with have now lost everything they own.
Fifty-six Compassion centers have been affected. The damage is currently being assessed and Compassion is working hard to meet the needs of those impacted by the floods.
Perhaps your heart was stirred as you read my posts this week about Issouf and Robert, but you aren’t in a position where you feel you can take on the monthly commitment of sponsoring a child or a Leadership Development student.
This is your chance to help. Compassion is now accepting one-time gifts to help meet the needs of those who have been affected by this severe flooding. A single gift of $30 will help one family receive food, emergency supplies and clean water for two weeks.
Moments like this are opportunities to be the hands and feet of Jesus to people who need it most. In Matthew 10:42 Jesus says that those who give even a cup of cold water in His name will rewarded in heaven.
Will you consider giving what you can—even if it’s not a full $30—to help the people of Burkina Faso overcome this devastation? Issouf and many others like him will be grateful for your generosity. Please also join me in praying for the protection and provision of the people in Burkina Faso.
If you have given to Compassion in any way this week as a result of reading this blog series I would love to hear about it—and I would love to send you a thank you gift. Please email me and let me know how God moved in your heart and how you stepped out in faith as a result. Thank you on behalf of the world’s poorest children for your generosity. Your reward in heaven will be great.
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