Archive for September, 2010

One Choice Leads to Another

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

burger

Earlier this week, my husband and I ate at our favorite burger joint. The Counter isn’t your typical order off a menu place. When you walk in they hand you a checklist and a pencil. You literally customize every aspect of your burger.

We ate with some friends and none of us had identical burgers. I opted for beef with Brie cheese, sprouts, tomatoes, mixed greens and grilled onions on a regular bun with ranch dressing on the side. My husband picked beef with pineapple, dried cranberries and teriyaki. I didn’t inspect anybody else’s burger that closely.

The thing I love about The Counter is that they carry so many of my favorite toppings. But, I noticed as I was happily checking things off and working my way down the list, sometimes choosing one of my favorites automatically means eliminating another. There wasn’t room for everything on my burger. And, let’s face it, some of my favorites just wouldn’t taste good together.

I could have opted for carne asada but I really wanted Brie cheese. The thought of the two together makes me gag. By opting for Brie I also eliminated Gouda.

Life is often the same way. By choosing one thing (like a specific college or boyfriend) you automatically eliminate another. Sometimes, a single choice doesn’t automatically eliminate all other options but eventually you find yourself forced to pick between things you love.

Lately, I noticed I don’t have as much time as I once did. My life was hurtling forward at a breakneck speed and I had to make some tough choices. I couldn’t keep living at the pace I was moving at. It would have been reckless and I would have run out of energy.

So, I had to evaluate a few things and make more deliberate choices. When I realized some of my important real life relationships weren’t getting the attention they deserve, I decided to step back from some of my online interactions and let the conversations on Facebook and Twitter continue without me.

I also had to examine various writing projects, ministry opportunities and speaking invitations and prayerfully whittle the list down to the things that I felt would be the best use of my time in this season.

Notice, I said in this season. Every season of life is different. Just because something or someone played a prominent role in my life a year ago doesn’t mean that the commitment should go on as is unexamined now.

I try to make a regular habit of sitting down with the Lord several times a year, writing all of my commitments out and asking Him which things still fit in the puzzle of my life.

Sometimes letting go and making changes isn’t easy. As I let some things go, and moved others around, there were some things I needed to grieve. This is the first time in five years that I am not teaching writing. There is something just a little bit sad about that.

But, this is also the first time in six years that I am teaching a weekly Bible study again. I love every minute of it, although it is a bit challenging too. For starters, this is my first time teaching women and not teens. And I’m also teaching something someone else picked out instead of using homework I wrote myself.  

Trade offs. Life is full of them.

How do you decide what stays and what goes when your schedule gets too crowded? Do you purposefully decide what each season change brings or takes with it, or do you allow it to just happen naturally? When you pray about changes how do you listen for the voice of God?

Let’s dialogue about this. I’m really eager to hear your thoughts.

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Posted in Life Lessons | 7 Comments »

Fruit and Results Are Not The Same Thing

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

girlwith BibleI tend to be an overachiever.

A perfectionist.

These aren’t things I’m proud of. But they are, nonetheless, true. Because of this I tend to be a results oriented person. That means I’m constantly looking for hard and fast evidence that the things I’m doing are a success.

Last night I taught on John 15:5-8 at women’s Bible study at my church. It’s a passage that used to frustrate me to no end simply because I read it wrong.

I used to assume the fruit Jesus promised to produce in our lives if we abide in Him would be equivalent to seeing stellar results in all areas of my life—especially in the areas where I was trying to serve Him. An example of my misguided thinking would be the assumption that abiding in Christ as I wrote a book would mean that the book would have super sales numbers. To me, that always seemed like a logical application of the text. I have since learned

Fruit and results are not the same thing.

In fact, not only are fruit and results entirely different things, they also come from completely different places.

I produce results. In fact, most of the time I wear myself out trying to make things happen or make myself successful.

But in John 15 Jesus says something startling. He says, “I am the vine.” His next sentence might as well be, “And you are not.”

Implicit in His introduction of who He is we also find a definition of who we are. We are just the branches.

Fruit—real lasting fruit—finds its source in the vine. The branch just gets the privilege of holding it. Without the vine the branch has nothing to hold.

What Jesus is saying here is, “I am the vine. I produce the fruit. If you want to hold some of my fruit, you hold onto Me.”

The concept of being a fruit bearer can be even more clearly defined when we realize God is simply calling each and every one of us to be a fruit holder.

This fruit Jesus speaks of isn’t measured by our results. But it is monitored by our reactions.

Jesus doesn’t come to me, or you or even your pastor on Sunday morning and ask what it is we can do for Him. He’s not after our results. He’s after us. His desire is to see us connect with Him so He can begin to dispense His reactions through us as we encounter the frustrations and heartbreaks of daily life.

So often we get caught up in measuring ourselves by our results—are we doing important things, are we becoming successful people, do a lot of people know who we are?

But the fruit Jesus wants to produce in us can be seen in our answers to questions like:

Am I more loving with that difficult person than I was a year ago?

Have I been patient in the midst of this uncertain circumstance?

Do I have joy as I face disappointment?

Can I experience peace even in the middle of a storm?   

If the answer is no, then it’s time we sit down with open Bibles and open hearts and ask God to produce these qualities in us. We can’t produce them in ourselves. So it’s time we stop trying.

Fruit and results are not the same thing.

All you have to do it abide.

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Seasons of Change

Thursday, September 16th, 2010

thanksgiving

Change is in the air. It comes with the territory of fall.

Last week I had my first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season and donned a sweater for the first time in months. Usually I try to drag summer out as long as possible, but this year I decided to lean into the changing of seasons instead of fighting it. Instead of lamenting the end of summer I was able to enjoy the arrival of fall.

If only I could embrace the seasons of life so willingly.

Recently I spent some time with some of my best friends from college—one was getting married and the other announced she’s pregnant with her first child. We were nineteen years old and single when we met. Back then our lives consisted of textbooks, cafeteria meals and cheap ways to travel the world.

Nine years later everything is different—even our hairstyles. Spending time with these friends, witnessing their lives unfurling into a new season right before my eyes, reminded me that life is constantly in motion. Today is always in the process of giving way to tomorrow.

Change is inevitable. But that doesn’t mean change is bad. It just means it’s different.

A few days ago I found myself navigating through a change in my life that is still unfamiliar. I was relying on systems and routines that worked well for me in the past but don’t fit well in this new season of life. Something different was needed.

In that moment I desperately wanted to conquer the challenge before me and proclaim, “Take that, Change! See? I know what I’m doing here.”

But I couldn’t. So I let out a slow breath and as I did I could hear the still small voice of the Lord whisper: Will you trust Me here the way you trusted Me there? Your life may change but I will never change.  

Suddenly the burden I had been carrying lifted.

If God is with me in my season of new then I am going to be just fine. Even when I don’t know what I’m doing He always knows what He’s doing.

He is the one constant in a life full of change. For me, that’s enough.

What about you?

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The Power of Words

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

Words.

They can be used in many ways. You can use them to encourage other people. Or weave them together to form a prayer on behalf of someone who is hurting.

Words can be put on paper to write a love letter or a thank you note. And they can be put in a text message or an email just to let someone know you care.

Words have the power to change lives. I’m a writer. I should know these things.

But I still sat in awe when I heard the testimony of Leonardo when I was in Colombia last month.

It was the words of other people that led him to place his faith in Jesus Christ.

His story is best told first person (if you are reading this post via RSS click here to watch the video):

Words.

How are you using your words today?

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Posted in Colombia Trip, Compassion, Life Lessons | No Comments »

It Matters More Than You Think

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

Alejandra

They were just words. But they were all I had to give. So I wrote.

That’s all I did. I wrote one simple blog post and told the story of Alejandra, a six-year-old girl I met in Colombia when I traveled with Compassion International last month.

While on the trip I lamented that my voice wasn’t loud enough, my reach wasn’t long enough, to change the life of every child I encountered. I could have become deterred because I couldn’t help everyone. But I chose to write instead.

Hopefully, I reasoned, I can change the life of one child.

Alejandra had been on the waiting list for a sponsor for two years when I visited her home. Her family seemed devoid of hope. It was almost if they wondered if they would be passed over forever.

Today Alejandra has a sponsor because one woman read my blog and decided she was going to act. Last week she took the initiative and contacted Compassion and signed up to sponsor Alejandra.

She couldn’t sponsor every child on the waiting list, but she could sponsor one. While that decision doesn’t change the entire world it does change the life of Alejandra.

Do you see what happened here?

*One woman with nothing to give but words wrote a blog post.

*Another woman with enough money to sponsor one child responded.

*A little girl who had been passed over and rejected was chosen.

None of us has the power to change everything. But we can all do something.

Give what you have.

Do what you can.

Make a difference in the life of one child today.

It matters more than you think.

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When Someone Else Gets What You Want

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

Sadness

Disappointment stinks. Rejection hurts. There’s something unsettling about knowing that somebody was chosen and it wasn’t you.

Yesterday I got an email from a friend who was just turned down by a publisher she dreamed of working with. It stung. As I read her email I felt her pain. She got an answer I heard last month: I’m sorry but we just signed a competing work. What you are writing is too close to something we already have.

Technically that’s code for: Someone else already wrote it—better and faster.

Instead of railing against the publisher in her email my friend asked me how I handle rejection and how I get rid of the nagging feeling of competition that comes when I find out somebody else got the contract for the book I wanted to write.

This is what I told her:

1) God is the ultimate authority. That means God is giving and withholding book contracts in ways that fit best with His overall plans. Even when I feel like an editor rejected me or another author stole my thunder, I have to remember God is ultimately in control and His ways aren’t my ways and His thoughts aren’t my thoughts (Is. 55:8). It’s not my place to question His authority and I know His plans for me are good (Jer. 29:11). In the grand scheme of things I’ve found there are opportunities I shouldn’t have ever had that were given to me and opportunities I thought I deserved that were withheld. Only God knows His reasoning behind those things. Trust Him even when you don’t understand.  

2) Second Corinthians 9:8 says that in all things and at all times God has supplied me with everything I need to fulfill the good works He has assigned to me. No book contract? Then I don’t need one at the moment to fulfill the good works assigned for me right now. So, I take my eyes off the situation and begin to look around for what God has currently equipped me to do. Many times it’s through doing other things that new book ideas come and I’m able to replace a dead proposal with a new one.

These answers might frustrate you the same way they sometimes irritate me. But that doesn’t make them any less true.

God has given you everything you need to do His will in this moment. If He’s withholding something—or someone—you think it vital to your wellbeing you are mistaken. He has His reasons. They are for your good. Someday He may tell you.

But then again, He might not.

So, decide to trust Him anyway. Look at what He has currently given you. Not at what He hasn’t. Thank Him for whatever it is, however small it may be. Then do something for Him with it.

Do what you can even if you can’t do what you dream of. That’s always a step in the right direction.

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Posted in Doubt, Life Lessons, Tough Stuff | 5 Comments »