I spent the last week of 2010 cleaning out my clutter.
There was a lot of journaling and praying and fervently flipping through Scripture to find certain verses.
At the end of it all I felt like my soul had finally exhaled after a year of holding my breath. The truth is I felt like I spent much of 2010 under water. No matter how hard I worked, or how focused I was, I constantly felt behind. It was like I was swimming in a race but I kept sinking despite my best efforts. Instead of getting ahead I could barely catch my breath.
By the time December got here I was exhausted. Usually I spend the last week of the year praying, planning and charting as I set my goals and resolutions for the year ahead. This year when I sat down for my annual date, I starred at the empty pages before me for what seemed like hours.
You see, 2011 isn’t just any year for me. I’m having a birthday in less than two weeks—a birthday that ends in a 9. It’s the last year for me to accomplish everything I wanted to achieve in the pivotal decade that has been my twenties. Crossing those last few things off my list would be feasible, but it would also be all consuming.
Internally I began to experience a tug of war.
Did I really want to exhaust myself in an attempt to achieve everything I set out to do when I was 20 or did I want to reexamine who I’ve become in the nine years since and see if different dreams and plans might be worth pursuing?
In a move that was somewhat surprising—even to me—I chose to let my list go. I mentally walked myself back in time and reacquainted myself with 20-year-old Shannon. She dreamed big. With a promising decade spread before her she cast her net wide. In nine years she was able to do almost everything she set out to do—and plenty of things she never imagined in her wildest dreams.
But the thing that struck me about her was how different she is from who I am now. I’ve lived a lot of life in that time and I’ve experienced devastating heartbreaks and thrilling victories that couldn’t have been foreseen at the threshold of my twenties. I’m still dreaming big and casting my net wide, but the things I want have changed.
Letting go of the initial blueprint I set for myself at the age of 20 isn’t failing. It’s growing.
I’m releasing old dreams so I can embrace new ones. My focus is now on being and not so much on doing. I’m more concerned with receiving God’s dreams for me than I am with telling Him about my dreams for 2011. For the first time in almost a decade I feel free.
I can’t think of a better way to start the New Year.
Tags: decluttering your soul, New Year's resolutions, not making New Year's resolutions, turning 29
Girl, when you said you were going to be celebrating a birthday this year that ends in a 9…I thought, oh, she’s going to be 39 just like me. Hahaha! Sure wish I’d had half your wisdom at 28 going on 29! Freedom IS an amazing feeling. Just FYI…the 30’s are even more freeing! Lovely post!
Shannon, as you know my 2010 year was “under water” as well. I loved how you described your year as “could barely catch my breath”. Boy, can I relate. I kept saying, ‘I can’t wait for 2010 to be over! 2011 HAS to be better’. Then I realized I’m putting pressure on the year to be better and if it doesn’t live up to my expectations, then it will be just like trying to have the “perfect” Christmas. I got rid of that expection and you are right, it is so freeing.
I commend you on the “being”.
Great post and thanks for your honesty.
Thanks for that reminder, it got me thinking – Proverbs 16:9 ‘In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.’
May the Lord give you the desires of your heart, but more importantly, may He align them with His ~ and should they go off course to your plans, may you rejoice knowing:
Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
Abiding in Him helps us discern when we need to course-correct or enjoy the new ride:)
I <3 this, Shannon! I totally relate to both the feeling of being underwater and struggling to let go of the goals you set for yourself.
I really am inspired by how dedicated you are to journaling. It is a thing I've never really been able to pick up but my goal for 2011 is to take some time and REALLY get into the Word and get to know the Lord. Even if its only one book of the Bible I want to study well and know what it means deep in my heart. I haven't quite figured out how to do that yet but I know alot of people talk about the importance of journaling so I am interested in it. How does it help you? Does it cause you to remeber things more? How often do you go back and read them? i think that it one thing that I"ve struggled with like whats the point if you just write it and set it aside but then after awhile you only have so much time to read so much so once again whats the point? Any thoughts?
All the hot debate and all typically the questions about the near future of Auburn’s Camera Newton became the phase of concentrate when Newton required the podium along the Scouting Merge Saturday morning. Newton was pretty poised (understand: rehearsed); received it down to the aim of starting his 15 minutes ahead of the media throng which has an opening report.
First and foremost, I realize that my obligation is to be the best possible soccer player I’ll be. I am certain and are convinced that. The current comments which made usually in the announcement about my brand-new endorsement joint venture.
I was building the point that I want to be the best doable ambassador for them, much like I want to be the better possible ambassador regarding whatever power team I’m lucky enough to get play with respect to.
San Jose Sharks jerseys I’m psyched to spar for customers this week, and discover see me personally doing all sorts of things possible being the best person I can come to be.
I’m fortunate to be in this situation, and I weren’t able to be in a more rewarding (place).
This was an obvious airport terminal the brand-new statement to it he observed himself for entertainer as well as an icon — an idea that applied quite a few persons the wrong way. Ahead of that, the speech was about mainly because antiseptic simply because you’d be expecting – together with given the path Ryan Mallett never impress any one who noticed his podium looks about an hour before, you can see why Newton went with the harder refined procedure.
Mallet looked like someone who wouldn’t care n any way about what many people thought of her … and not in a very good way. This individual walked over the stage immediately after repeated concerning alleged tablet use together with other character queries went unanswered. Newton looked like some man who had opted through every one of the steps it takes to appear excessive about improving the issues who’ve some people looking at him sideways.
Newton at the same time said that he’s got spoken to Dallas Cowboys, kept right answers about earlier “indiscretions” having to do with your partner’s father together with alleged pay-for-play suggestions to the scripted manner, and spoke of what her combine activity has been for example so far.
“It appeared to be something where you had to query yourself for athlete. I’m just pretty sure that everybody in the combine was studying the same progression, asking themselves things, like, Is that really what I want to do?I Because (on) each get together, the horn gives off, and that’s these notice that you’ve gotten two short minutes left. And the coaches happen to be asking you questions left and right. And also as soon while that achieving is done, you will shake control and you find right out and you navigate to the next area. As soon as you walk around the block to the next set, you do the same principle all over. However one thing I often say for each and every team is they keep you against your toes, The way to somewhat pleasure for me to be eager to are aware of and try plus expect exactly what the next team is going to state, or the things they’re going to have me personally do. Ways to a fun practical knowledge so far.”
Newton will get the entire media car wash through the pre-draft procedure, and the no more than respite will be whenever he can get on the field at this point, at his / her Pro Evening in March, and in human being workouts designed for teams after. Beyond the fact that, he’ll be under detective in ways which often few draft prospects are generally – with enough force that her ability to handle it will be a bit like a punch he has got to ace in the process.
I have learned result-oriented things via your site. One other thing I’d prefer to say is newer computer system operating systems are inclined to allow a lot more memory to be used, but they furthermore demand more memory space simply to perform. If a person’s computer can not handle much more memory as well as newest application requires that ram increase, it might be the time to shop for a new Computer. Thanks
I like what you guys are up also. Such intelligent work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my site
. “Blessed is he who has found his work let him ask no other blessedness.” by Thomas Carlyle.
that’s what i had been contemplating ninth of nov wasn’t away from this entire world
I believe other blog site enthusiasts definitely should take a look at this excellent web page as an example. Pretty clean and uncomplicated style, in addition to brilliant article content! You’re a pro when it comes to this important subject matter
I think that a few other web-site creators should really take a look at this particular blog site as an example. Genuinely clean and simple to use structure, combined with outstanding information! You’re experienced when it comes to this kind of niche
I think a few other online business creators would need to start thinking about this particular web site as a model. Distinctly clean and user friendly structure, and additionally ideal content! You’re a specialist regarding this excellent topic
I believe other sorts of blog creators would be wise to give thought to this particular website as a model. Fantastically clean and straightforward layout, combined with impressive content! You are an authority in this particular topic area
I’m not sure exactly why but this site is loading extremely slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end? I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.