Archive for the ‘My Life’ Category

The Danger of Being an Expert

Thursday, May 13th, 2010

librarygirl

I teach writing. To elementary students.

While that sounds harmless it really is a scary thing. For the past four years I’ve taught writing to students of all ages ranging from 6 to 19. During that time I’ve seen students of all skill levels pass through my classroom. Some students are gifted, others are diligent and some could really care less about writing or anything pertaining to it.

I always do my best to treat each student the same, but there is one type of student that is especially difficult for me: the expert. This student comes in all shapes and sizes but there are several common denominators making him or her easy to spot within the first week of class.

He or she typically:

▪Has been told by friends and family members that his/her storytelling is exceptional

▪Has been told by someone not in the publishing industry that his/her stories should be published

▪Has never had any formal writing training

▪Doesn’t see a need for editing

▪Was enrolled in my class because he/she loves writing not because he/she wants to learn anything new about how to write

Students who are experts are hard for me because they refuse to be taught. You would think that the fact I am author of ten published books or that I have a degree in a publishing related field would give me some credibility in their eyes. But it doesn’t.

So the experts continue to tell instead of show, skip the quotation marks, write boring dialogue and use cliché endings in their stories. Every year, without fail, one of my students who began the year at the top of the class finds herself at the bottom.

Average and mediocre writers outshine the expert with their end of the year stories. Yet, the expert sits with her arms crossed and a smug look on her face believing that the shoddy piece of work she has in her portfolio will become the next great American novel.

As my students shuffle out of my classroom I shake my head silently and think to myself, Someday she’ll learn.

You see, I used to be an expert too. From the moment I could hold a pencil my teachers were dubbing me a future author. My family spent hours entertained by my stories. Every writing assignment I ever had seemed too easy for me. Thanks to some God given talent I was always a good writer. For years that was a roadblock when it came to making any progress toward becoming a great writer. (While I’ve still not arrived at the pinnacle of greatness I would like to think I’ve made progress.)

I was a twenty year old college student when I signed my first book contract. While most of my professors were starry-eyed over my accomplishment there was one man who wasn’t. During the day he worked as the sports editor at a major newspaper and at night he taught writing classes to journalism students.

During the semester he took each student’s best work and put it up on the overhead projector (with their name on it) and let the class critique it. When my turn came he chose my worst and sloppiest assignment. It was awful. I know everyone in the class must have thought Um, this is the girl with the book contract? I was so embarrassed.  

If the humiliation wasn’t enough he asked me to stay after class.

“The number one rule of being a published writer,” he said, “is to always do your best work because you never know who is going to read it.”

After I let those words sink in he offered me some parting words before I left.

“By the way,” he said casually, “if anyone else turned that paper in I would give them an A because that might be their best work. But you’re better than that.”

With that he packed up his bag and walked out of the room. He had no idea then that I would think about that moment at least once a month in the years that followed. I am incredibly grateful for that experience, as painful as it was. That lesson alone was worth the price of my college tuition because it made me a better writer.

Being an expert may make you feel important but it stunts your growth. Aim instead to be teachable. You will go much further that way.

A Godly Legacy

Friday, May 7th, 2010

3 generationsedited

Recently I was visiting my mom and grandma when my grandma pulled out a few photos of her parents that had just been sent to her by one of her sisters. Obviously, the photos weren’t new as my great grandparents have been gone for decades. But the photos were still new to us.

“Look at that,” my grandma said pointing to her mother. “That’s your smile on her face.” I leaned in for a closer look. Sure enough, she was right. If you would have covered up everything but the smile you would have thought the picture was of me.

I never got to meet my great grandma, but I like the fact that I have her smile. There’s something incredibly cool about knowing you’re carrying around parts of the people who have gone before you (if they were good people, which in my case they were).

As I drove home that night I thought about having the smile of a woman I’ve never met. Then my mind wandered to the things I’ve inherited from the two women I know well—my mom Becky and her mother Billie.

My mom is the one who taught me the importance of having a daily quiet time. When I was still a toddler she would sit me down each morning with a basket of books and a children’s Bible and tell me to be quiet while she met with Jesus. A few feet away she would open her Bible, her journal and whatever devotion books she was using and she would have her quiet time while I watched and learned.

She now jokes that she would often look up from her prayer time to see me with my head bowed and hands folded—children watch and learn. I’m grateful I had someone wise and godly to learn from. The intimacy I have with Christ is a direct byproduct of my own ability to have consistent and effective quiet times. The fruit that comes from my quiet times can be attributed directly back to my mother.

My grandma tried in vain to teach me the principles of good financial stewardship for years before I was willing to learn them. She’s a shrewd saver and a generous giver at the same time. When I was in third grade she found out there was a boy in my class who couldn’t afford school supplies so she anonymously went out and bought him everything he needed. She couldn’t stand the thought of him going without. I never knew this until I was an adult.

Now, when I’m faced with tough financial choices to save when I feel like spending or to give when I’d rather buy something for myself I think of my grandma and I follow her example. Her generosity has touched more people than she will ever know—even when I’m the one writing the check.

This Mother’s Day I’m grateful that I have my great grandma’s smile. But I’m even more grateful that I have the discipline and the generosity of my mother and my grandmother. The things they’ve instilled in me are priceless treasures.

Your Turn: What are some things you’ve learned from your mom or grandma?

Lessons From My First 5K

Tuesday, May 4th, 2010

Four Runners2

On Sunday morning I competed in the Wahoo’s 5K that was part of the OC Marathon festivities. It was my first professionally timed race (complete with a timing chip I laced onto my shoe) and my husband and both of my parents participated too.

I woke up at 5 am and was standing in position at the starting line at 7:30 sharp when they blew the horn and the crowd took off.

Over the next 3.2 miles my mind drifted to a lot of places as my feet pounded the pavement. Why did I participate in the Wahoo’s 5K? To prove to myself that I could. My competition wasn’t the other 1,300+ runners. My biggest competition was me. I wanted to complete my first real race, obtain the medal at the end and feel the rush that came from accomplishing something new.

The closer I got to the finish line the louder the crowd grew. As the cheers and chants filled my ears I allowed myself to get lost in them and I bolted in a dead sprint to the finish line. My lungs were burning; my heart was pounding—and I was having the time of my life. I—Shannon the girl with asthma—no longer had to wear the label “I can’t” just because I have an incurable disease of the lungs.

My handicap no longer defined me. Victory did. I think this is similar to what the apostle Paul meant in Philippians 3:13-14 when he said:

“…One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”    

After I finished my race on Sunday I found myself pondering what Paul had to forget. In a way he had to forget his handicaps too. One thing Paul had to forget about was his former sins—the things he had done that he wished he hadn’t.

But there’s more. Paul was a former Pharisee, the son of a Pharisee (Acts 23:6). Paul had spent years of his life trying to earn a position close to God. His list of good works and knowledge of the Scriptures would have put most people to shame.

Just as Paul had to forget the bad things in his past if he wanted to press on toward godliness, he also had to forget the good things he did for the wrong reasons. His resume of good works may have impressed the religious elite in his day, but it didn’t produce godliness. It wasn’t comprised of the things that really pleased God like humility, loving God with your whole heart, and loving your neighbor as yourself.

Paul finished the race of life trying to beat his best. He realized the race was about making progress toward being the best Paul he could be—not in terms of good works, but in terms of allowing God to work freely in and through his life.  

In chasing that victory he stopped letting his handicaps define him. At the end of his life he wasn’t a Pharisee anymore. Any attempt at earning his way to heaven had been abandoned and his only focus was Christ.

When I was running on Sunday I forgot about the crowd around me. I forgot about the asthma that so often plagues me. Those things got lost as I focused my attention on crossing the finish line.

As you press on toward “the prize for which God has called [you] heavenward in Christ Jesus” you’ll need to let some things fall away too. Some of those things will be former sins that make you forget you are forgiven. Other things will be flashy good works that were really meant to impress those around you and not to please God.

Eventually, as you make your way through the race of life you will hit your stride. Forgetting will become natural and the only thing you will see is the finish line and the One who calls you by name waiting to give you the applause of a lifetime.

Run hard and finish well.

Meet My Intern Meredith

Thursday, March 25th, 2010

MeredithThis spring I have a fabulous college student working with me as an intern. In today’s post I want to  introduce you to her and next week I’ll be running a two-post series she wrote (you’ll want to make sure you read it–it’s good!).

Here are her stats (feel free to ask her any questions in the comments section):

Name: Meredith Young

Age: 21

Relationship Status: Engaged

Major: English

Random Fact: I’m hopelessly addicted to Nutter Butters.

Favorite Food: Sushi!

Favorite Bible verse: 2 Corinthians 5:17 — “Behold, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has gone, the new has come!”

Best childhood memory: As a little girl (and even well into high school), my mom used to wake me up early on Tuesday mornings during the summer.  We would get up and leave, and after driving for about 20 minutes, we’d arrive at a local flea market where we would browse the aisles of eclectic products for hours.  I loved the sights and smells and sounds, so much so that they stick with me even today.

Most awkward high school moment: I liked a boy so much during my freshman year of high school that I tried to tell him how I felt; instead of being the beautiful sentence that sounded so great in my head, it came out an assortment of phrases and sounds.  Needless to say, he didn’t feel the same way about me!

Career aspirations: My career aspirations change every day.  Some days I want to be an author, other days I want to work in the magazine industry.  Still other days I want to be an artist.  But what I like most right now is working with college students — hopefully I can mix my skills and my loves as I graduate college.

One thing you know now that you wished you knew in high school: I now know that the world is so much more complex than black and white.  In high school I was so easily disappointed, without realizing that there is more to each person I encountered than just their wrongs or rights.  Each person has a story, which does not necessarily make them right or wrong, but makes them worth more than just their decisions.

Alright, girls. Let’s make Meredith feel welcome here on the blog!

Want to Be in a Book?

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

happy

I need your help!

I’m working on a new book project and I would like to feature some real life stories of teenage girls who are making a difference for Christ.

If you or someone you know is doing, or has done, any of the following (or something similar) please leave me a comment or send me an email letting me know how I can contact you for more info.

I’m looking for stories about girls doing things like:

Leading Bible studies

Raising money for missions/charity

Sponsoring a child with her own money

Refusing to give in to peer pressure

Going on missions trips

Serving at church

Being a light in a dark place

Making her purity a priority

Leading others to Christ

Speaking up for those who can’t speak up for themselves

Thanks for your help!

My Peru Experience

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Girl in Peru

The bus dropped us off about a quarter mile from the village we were visiting. One of the girls with me had to go to the bathroom and when I inquired about the nearest one our translator pointed to a small wooden shack that was barely wide enough for one person. The girl opted to hold it.

As we made our way down the dusty road my brain was working overtime trying to process the sights around me. Children slowly began peaking through the doorways of their tin shacks. A young boy ran up to us and eagerly pointed at my husband’s baseball cap and in broken English started yelling, “Yankees! Yankees!” The boys in Peru could only dream of an opportunity to ever enter an American baseball stadium.

Once that boy broke the ice we were quickly swarmed by children from all over the village. Boys and girls of all ages grabbed onto our group and excitedly tugged on our arms and our backpacks. The smaller children touched our while skin in curiosity. When they smiled I could see browning and rotted teeth. I could see lice in the hair of some of them.

Our team set up camp in the center of the village and began doing laundry, washing hair, passing out food and teaching adults about basic hygiene like brushing their teeth. The day passed quickly as the children enjoyed small luxuries like the soccer ball we brought them. Their parents sat mesmerized as our team performed a drama and talked about Jesus.

At one point during the day, as I was walking through the village trying to take it all in, a little girl came up to me and latched onto my hand. Startled, I looked down and she smiled up at me as if she had known me all her life. She started chattering away in Spanish and although I couldn’t understand the majority of what she was saying I smiled and nodded and she walked me around and pointed out various places of interest in her village.

The poverty I was exposed to that day overwhelmed me. All day I found myself searching for a private place to sit down and cry but I was so dirty my tears would have quickly turned to mud.

When I was heading back to the bus that afternoon a woman and her teenage daughter came running after me. When I stopped and turned to them they began speaking to me in rapid Spanish. I quickly flagged down one of our translators to interpret for me.

“This woman is asking if you can give her daughter something to remember you by,” she said. “This is the biggest day of her daughter’s life. Nobody may ever come back here and she wants her daughter to remember you.”

A lump grew in my throat as I fought back tears and frantically thought about anything I could possibly give this girl. My backpack had already been emptied hours ago. Suddenly I remembered the sunglasses on my face. I squinted as I slipped them off and handed them to her. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree.

As soon as I got on the bus and made my way to my seat the tears I’d been holding back finally slipped out. Someone behind me said, “I can’t believe you gave her your sunglasses.” All I could think was, I wish I’d given her more.

My trip to Lima, Peru with BRIO Magazine in 2006 was a life changing experience for both the Peruvian people we encountered and the 500+ teenagers we took with us. The trip lasted only two weeks, but its impact is still lingering today.

This summer, Susie Shellenberger and her team (now SUSIE Mag) will be partnering with one of my absolute favorite organizations ever—Compassion International—and taking a team of teenage girls into some of the poorest parts of Guatemala to do ministry there.

If you have a heartfelt desire to change the world you can find out more about how you can join Susie this summer by visiting the trip website. You can also learn more about other ministries that are making a radical difference by checking out this link on my website.

You may not be able to change the entire world. But you can change the world for one person. Start asking God how He would have you change someone else’s life today.

The Blessing of Good Girlfriends

Friday, January 15th, 2010

New Year'sI laid in my bed that night, almost one year into college, and sobbed my eyes out. Because my roommate, Rachel, was sleeping only a few feet away I had to keep things quiet so she wouldn’t wake up and ask me what was wrong.

The truth was I didn’t know how to explain it. Tears spilled in silent rivers down my cheeks for most of that night.  

For the majority of the school year I felt lost and aimless. Floating from group to group I hadn’t established any deep relationships. I felt alone and isolated and scared.

On this particular night I was almost certain that I was in the wrong place. Maybe Biola University wasn’t where God wanted me. Things sure hadn’t panned out like I planned.  

In desperation, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I said a prayer. That night I asked the Lord to give me a reason to stay at Biola if that was where He wanted me. Otherwise, I would begin exploring other options for the following Fall. The very next day my phone rang and I was offered a part-time job as a secretary in the Student Missionary Union on campus.

Weeks earlier I had applied for the position, but since it was one of the most coveted jobs on campus I knew my chances were slim. When the call came I knew God was answering my prayer. But I still didn’t know just what was coming.

Later that week, I attended an orientation for new staff members and enjoyed meeting some of the other girls I would be sharing my position with. Jessi and Heidi were both different from me, and didn’t have a lot in common with each other, but they seemed fun just the same. We made plans to grab coffee on campus to get to know each other better.

What started as a one-time thing grew into a weekly Saturday night meeting at Starbucks that lasted an entire year. Jessi and Heidi and I went on trips together, did Bible studies together, constantly left encouraging notes for each other, and built into each other’s lives in a truly unique way.

Jessi moved away and got married at the end of our first year as friends, but the emails, the occasional weekend getaways and the friendship remained. When I got married in 2005 both she and Heidi were in my wedding.

This New Year’s Jessi and her husband flew down to spend a few days with Michael and me. And Heidi drove down with her serious boyfriend so we could all meet him. As I sat and laughed with these friends over old memories and recent happenings we were filling each other in on, I realized that these two girls have always been a symbol of God’s faithfulness to me.

They were the reason God gave me for staying at Biola when I was ready to leave because I was lonely. They were the people who stood by my side and supported me when I made the most important commitment of my life. And nine years after I met them, though life had taken us all down different paths, they were the people sitting beside me as I rang in a new year full of unknowns.

Lately I’ve been flooded with emails from girls who feel just as lonely as I did on the night I cried myself to sleep in my dorm room. Many of you write to me to tell me you don’t have many friends, and you don’t have any real friends at all. My heart breaks when I read your emails because I have been there before.

I encourage you to ask God to bring you a friend in 2010 that will still be your friend when we ring in 2020. And don’t limit Him in His answer. Don’t look for someone who is just like you. Instead, be open to finding a friend who can teach you things about yourself that you might not know. Look for friends who will point you toward God and His Word when life brings questions that are hard to answer. Ask God for a friend who will very much be “Jesus with skin on” for you in this season of life.

In the comments section today let’s talk about unexpected friends or great life-lessons we’ve learned from some of the people God has placed in our lives. I want to hear your friendship stories. So give a shout out to some of your BFFs and then let them know what you wrote about them so they can be encouraged!

She Seeks: Keep the Change

Monday, January 11th, 2010

moneygirl

Growing up, I was a words person. Numbers didn’t really exist in my world. At the age of sixteen when I got my first job, and my first bank account, I managed to bounce a few checks as the result of living in a numberless world. When I went off to college I stopped bouncing checks, but I still didn’t balance or reconcile my checkbook. I simply remembered to look at my bank statement online before making major purchases. Sound familiar?

By the time I was in my mid-twenties, my dad had done an excellent job at drilling the dangers of debt into my head. I didn’t have a credit card until I was out of college, and even then I carried a zero balance. So I entered adult life debt free, and intended to stay that way. However, I didn’t have a game plan for doing so. With meager savings, a modest income, no budget and expensive taste I was quickly headed for trouble…

To read the rest of this story visit the She Seeks website. Derek, a 25-year-old-finanical coach, will also be available all week to field YOUR questions about money.

A Season of Rest

Friday, November 13th, 2009

girloncouch

Technically it’s fall. But don’t tell that to the extreme heat here in Southern California. Where I live we’re still dressing like it’s summer.

That might sound nice to you, but I have some boots and scarves I’ve been dying to wear and I can’t really do that right now unless I want to pass out from heat stroke in public. No thanks.

Since I live in a locale where it’s eternally summer I’m used to a calendar that doesn’t include four seasons. So, instead I classify life by two seasons: busy and busier. Earlier this year I had somewhat of a meltdown from the pace of my life.

Both Michael and I had been running too hard and too fast for too long. Somewhere along the way we stopped living and began substituting by simply going through the motions. It wasn’t pretty.

A few months ago Michael and I sat down and examined our calendar. We determined that part of the reason we both felt so crazy and out of control most of the time was that our weekends were just as packed as our workweek. So, we made a commitment to each other. For the month of November we weren’t putting anything besides church on our weekend calendar (outside of a family event we have over Thanksgiving).

We’ve stuck to the commitment. It thrills my heart to stare at the empty Saturday and Sunday boxes on my wall calendar. But what thrilled me even more was the relaxed pace of last Saturday. Michael did homework for ten hours (he’s in school fulltime and works fulltime), but we sat side by side on our couch reading. There was no rushing. No frantic feelings. No stress. No feeling out of sorts.

That night we closed our books and turned on the Yankee game and got hotdogs from our favorite place around the corner. It was an ideal Saturday in so many ways.

The irony that it transpired during a month where more was being demanded of us on Monday through Friday than normal wasn’t lost on me. We had carved out time for rest and we were reaping its rewards. Sure there was still homework to do, dishes to be cleaned and even a ballgame to be watched. But by protecting our time by allowing for the things that needed to be done and saying no to everything else, Michael and I were able to enjoy the weekend.

We went to church on Sunday feeling rested and refreshed. When our friend Andy made a comment about how busy life is for us in this season we laughed and shrugged. We didn’t feel that busy.

All because we took time to slow down and rest.

Wordless Wednesday: Go Yankees!

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

MPSign2