Although contrary to popular belief among girls who really just want a boyfriend, there are some pluses to being single.That’s right.
Today I’m going to highlight just three. Then I want you to chime in and share even more positives aspects of being single in the comments section below. Deal?
1. Being single allows you to figure out who you are apart from someone else. Sometimes dating teens stop focusing on who they are as people and instead focus all of their efforts on who they are as half of a couple. Their identity becomes so entangled with their relationship that they no longer know who they are apart from it.
But, if you are single (even unwillingly so), you can spend time exploring your likes and dislikes, your talents and passions and even some of the spiritual gifts God may have given you. If you’re in high school or junior college being single can be a real blessing when it comes to determining which university you want to attend. I know more than one girl who changed her plans due to a guy and I often wonder if those girls ever had regrets—especially if their relationships didn’t work out.
So, use this time to ask God who He has made you and what He has made you for. Before I ever met my husband I graduated from college, wrote two books and was walking in God’s calling on my life. In hindsight, I’m glad Michael didn’t come into my life sooner. I might have missed out on some pretty cool things if he had.
2. Being single allows you freedom to minister in ways you might not be able to otherwise. 1 Corinthians 7:34 says, “…the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.” If you think about that for a moment that’s a pretty powerful verse. It’s saying that someone in your position (singleness) has more freedom to focus on the Lord and minister to others than someone in my position (marriage).
I see this play out in my own life all the time. When I was single it was a lot easier to plan my speaking calendar. Back then I wasn’t trying to coordinate around someone else’s schedule (Michael normally comes with me when I speak and we significantly limit the amount of times a year each of us travels without the other one).
Now that I’m married my approach to ministry has changed because my marriage is one of my most important ministries. Sure I still get to write, speak and do missions work. But not with the same freedom I had when I was single. Don’t waste your singleness. Jump into serving God with everything you have right now. Invest in other people instead of wallowing in your loneliness.
3. Being single allows you to invest deeply in other relationships. When you start dating someone—and especially when you marry someone—your relationships with other people change. Your time becomes more limited because you suddenly find yourself wanting to spend every waking minute with your significant other.
In college I had some really good girlfriends. We used to take trips together, get together weekly for coffee and share the deepest details of our lives with each other. The dynamic changed drastically when one of the girls got married and another became engaged. Our lives went in different directions. But I still keep a framed photo from one of our trips near my desk because every time I look at it I am reminded of one of the sweetest and most rewarding seasons of my life.
Had I been dating during my college years I would have missed out on some rich relationships. Those were the girls I stayed up late into the night with pondering the big questions in life.
Those are just three reasons you should take the time to stop and appreciate your singleness today.
What are some other reasons? Make a list of things you can do (or do more easily) when you are single and share them in the comments section. What are some things you are thankful for in your season of singleness?
