Sometimes you can’t prevent yourself from seeing a status update or picture you really didn’t want to see. Even if you learn to apply the principles of social modesty, there will always be people who parade themselves around emotionally naked. Depending on the depth of your relationships with those people, you may be able to help them out.

If someone is constantly logging on and letting it all hang out, you may want to consider approaching her privately about it. Some people don’t realize how much over sharing they’re actually doing. I once had a “friend” who was constantly misusing her status on Facebook. I was uncomfortable reading some of the things she wrote because they were so personal in nature. She cannot realize what she’s doing, I thought to myself. So I wrote her a note explaining that I saw some of the things she wrote and that I would be praying for her in this difficult time. It was a note sent with the genuine purpose of encouraging her.

She wrote back immediately demanding to know where I was getting all of my information from since she didn’t want certain people to know what she was going through (seriously, she wrote that). So, I nicely replied and let her know that she had been putting the information in her status updates for days and that all of her Facebook friends could see it.

This friend was horrified. She had viewed her status update as a quick way to disseminate information to certain friends in her network without having to individually message each of them. The thought never crossed her mind that all of her other friends could see the updates too. Ever since then, this friend has used her status more sparingly.

There may be some people in your network who are legitimately sharing too much information too. Pray for them. If you are embarrassed for them, imagine how it must feel to be them. If you decide to approach someone about her tendency to over share online, be sensitive. Make sure you have a good enough relationship with this person in real life to do it. If you don’t know her well, maybe you just want to write her a quick hello to remind her that you are there—and you can see her profile updates. That alone might cause a stranger to rethink how much personal information she is posting.

Make sure any conversation you initiate with someone about her tendency to Facebook naked is done in private. While people may think it’s acceptable to strip down online, nobody is going to think it’s appropriate to be publicly dressed down by someone else. Remember, your goal here is to help someone else not to embarrass her.

Try not to accuse the person either. “Hey, I think you’re a naked Facebooker” or “You know, you really have a tendency to over share online and it makes other people uncomfortable” are probably not the best ways to start the conversation. Instead, you may simply want to bring up the information itself.

“I saw in your status update that your dad recently left your mom. I’m really sorry to hear that. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. I will be praying for you…” A note like that conveys you care but also reveals that you know information that is personal. This may open up a discussion with the person that would allow you to say something like, “I know what you’re going through must be hard, but do you think it’s wise to let everyone at school know what your family is going through?”

In the end, people will have to choose for themselves when it comes to what they deem appropriate and inappropriate. Social modesty is a lot like physical modesty in that sense. Some people won’t change because they don’t want to. At the end of the day you aren’t responsible for changing anyone else. Instead, you are only responsible for you. So continually guard your heart.

Don’t Facebook naked, and don’t gawk at others when they do.

Have you had to approach someone about oversharing on their profile? If so (without sharing names) how did you go about it? Are  there things you’ve posted on your own profile in the past that you won’t post again in the future? Overall, how much has the concept of “naked Facebooking” resonated with you?

Other posts in this series:

What is a Naked Facebooker?

Connection: Why We Feel Compelled to Bare it All

Curiosity: The Impulse to Gawk When Others Take it All Off

Airbrushed: Making Ourselves Look Better Than We Are