Think for a moment about the “About Me” section on your online profile. Typically you get a paragraph or two to say something about yourself. Sometimes you get to include favorite quotes, movies and books but you still have to tell your audience about you and not just what you like.

What did you say about yourself in those paragraphs? Did you paint an accurate portrait of who you really are or did you create an ideal version of you? Maybe you airbrushed yourself trying to remove any potential flaws by being creative, clever and witty in how you presented yourself.

Or you said you liked something you didn’t because it sounded better than the truth. My Twitter profile once said I was a lover of green tea. I like green tea, but I don’t have it every day. I wrote that because I thought it made me sound more interesting than I really am.

We tend to cover our flaws by playing up one of three areas: who we have, what we can do and what we have. When you log online, which area of your life do you tend to inflate to help cover your flaws?

Who We Have. Those of us who have some sort of “flaw” that we think makes us unlovable like to use this airbrushing trick. I know a girl who has never had a boyfriend. This girl—who I don’t know in person—has shared with me how lonely she feels at this point in her life. She feels like somewhat of an outcast in her real life, so she spends a lot of time online connecting with people she does and doesn’t know in person.

Recently, her Facebook profile proudly displayed the coveted words “In a Relationship”. Thinking I’d missed something I asked her who the lucky guy was. It turns out there was no lucky guy. She just didn’t want her online friends to think there was something wrong with her, that she wasn’t worth loving. With one quick flick of the airbrush she attempted to remove something she didn’t like about her life—her singleness.

What We Can Do. This is my airbrushing tool of choice. For as long as I can remember I’ve been trying to convince people I have value because of what I can do. People like me are easy to spot online because our profiles and status updates are constantly boasting about our accomplishments.

Not a single one of us is good enough to get ourselves into heaven. And if we’re not good enough for that, it doesn’t matter what any of us is good enough for.

James 1:17 tells us where your gifting and talent came from: God. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us what kind of plans He has for you: “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Everything that you have that’s worth having is a gift from a God who loves you. See your gifts for what they are—evidences of God’s love—and not for what they are not—tools to make man love you.  

What We Have. The problem with putting your worth in things is that things don’t last. Not only will you have to leave them behind when you die, but chances are most of the things you prize right now aren’t even things that will follow you into the next decade of your life.

I’m not even thirty yet, but when I was in high school nobody had cell phones and the internet was brand new. I’m certainly glad I didn’t put my worth in my purple pager (you know, those things that clip to your hip and beep when someone calls in trying to get a hold of you?) That thing is long gone.

Don’t try to airbrush your flaws and insecurities away. Instead, bring them before God in openness and honesty. Let Him treat your wounds and bring the healing that only He can give. He is enough. When your confidence is in Him, you are too.  

What about you? Do you try to hide your flaws when you present yourself online? If so, what are you hiding and who are you hiding from?

Other posts in this series:

What is a Naked Facebooker?

Connection: Why We Feel Compelled to Bare it All

Curiosity: The Impulse to Gawk When Others Take it All Off

Tomorrow’s post—How Do You Tell Someone They’re A Naked Facebooker?       

Knowing someone and knowing about them are two entirely different things. But with the increase in popularity of online networking it’s become harder to tell the difference between the two.

Suddenly, everyone’s life is front page news. Photos and details are readily available about the weekend Britney Spears had (ala People and OK magazines) but the same information about the pretty girl in our geometry class that we secretly feel inferior to is just as easily accessible (ala Facebook, Twitter and MySpace).

The downfall of having so much information readily available about other people is that it leads us to talk openly about other people. You know the kind of talking I mean (OMG! Did you hear Michelle and Andy broke up?) News travels fast—especially bad news. People love passing on the juicy tidbits they read online.

Like it or not, our constant curious quests (and the fact that they can now be so easily satisfied) can lead us into primarily three areas of sin if we aren’t taking active inventory of our hearts when we log online (remember, our hearts are deceitful so don’t be quick to claim you’re just curious):

Arrogance. I’m sure there has been more than one occasion where you’ve logged online and discovered someone revealed information about herself that left you feeling better about yourself. Maybe it was immense satisfaction that came from knowing the girl who made fun of you for not dating got dumped by the love of her life. Or maybe it runs deeper. Perhaps you were glad to discover the girl you know that appears to have it all has a dad she doesn’t feel loves her. Maybe finding out that someone else struggles with a “worse” sin than the one you wrestle with flooded you with relief and superiority (Well, at least I’m not as bad as she is…).

In Proverbs 6:16-19 the Bible mentions six things God hates. With a list that short you really want to make sure you’re behavior isn’t on it. The first thing mentioned is haughty eyes. The word haughty means “blatantly and disdainfully proud”. God hates it when we look upon others with arrogance and superiority.

Jealousy. Since people use Facebook, Twitter and MySpace to broadcast all of the recent happenings in their lives, it’s safe to assume you will constantly be up to date on who is vacationing where, who got the latest new cell phone or car, or who went to that concert you wanted to go to. With all of that knowledge jealousy might be quick to follow, especially when pictures are involved. It’s one thing to hear that someone else has what you want. It’s a completely different thing to see it.  

Gossip. Gossip isn’t an online problem. It’s a life problem. For as long as I can remember the temptation to talk about someone else has always existed. But that has never been truer than when the details of someone else’s life have been readily accessible to me. With Facebook, MySpace and Twitter you constantly know who is breaking up, who is making up and who is feuding with whom. But information like this is of little or no value to you if you don’t have someone else to discuss it with. So, you start asking around to see who else knows what you know. You usually do this for two reasons—you want details you don’t have or you want to give details others don’t have.

Since the information you are discussing was made public online, you don’t feel bad talking about it with other people. But what does the Bible say about it? Proverbs 16:28 says, “…a gossip separates close friends.” Think of that—what you do with the information you read online could destroy your relationships!

What about you? Do you struggle in any of these  areas? Can curiosity really be dangerous when it comes to social networking? Why or why not?

Other posts in this series:

What is a Naked Facebooker?

Connection: Why We Feel Compelled to Bare it All

Tomorrow’s post—Airbrushed: Making Ourselves Look Better Than We Are

We live in a world where any teenage girl can be famous. Maybe not Miley Cyrus famous, but with a few clicks of your mouse you too can have hundreds of people following your every move.

If you’re anything like me you’re probably caught somewhere between wondering why anyone cares that you’re eating pepperoni and black olive pizza and feeling important because they do.

The reasons people like Facebook and Twitter can be summarized in five categories.

We want to feel important. For some people feeling important comes from having constant access to information. My childhood nickname was Scoop because I always knew what was going on with everyone in the neighborhood. I took a great deal of pride in being the one people could count on to know what was going on over the weekend or why someone hadn’t been around in awhile. Some people like online networking because it keeps them in the know. They don’t want to miss out on events. In fact, they want to be the ones to make important announcements.

We want to fit in. Some of us find comfort in having a place to belong. Those of us who come from broken homes, or who have moved a lot can have a hard time feeling like we have a solid community in the real world. Some of us like the comfort we find in online communities because it prevents us from feeling isolated. If you’re like me you get excited every time someone friend requests you. There’s something comforting about being wanted. No matter how surface level our online connections may seem, they still exist and for that we are grateful.

We want to be understood. Sometimes the only thing we’re looking for is someone who “gets it”. I remember some of the arguments I had with my parents during my senior year of high school. The pressure was mounting for me as I had to decide where I wanted to go to college. Because neither of my parents got to experience the traditional four-year university complete with life in the dorms, they were determined to give me the opportunity they missed out on. And I was grateful, but I was also stressed out.

My friends, who were experiencing the same anxiety, were the only ones who understood. Had online networking existed then, I could easily see myself logging on and seeking understanding from those in similar situations. It’s frustrating to live in a world where nobody around you empathizes with you.  

We want to appear as something we’re not. It is easier to be confident from the other side of a computer screen than it is when you are face to face with people. I was asked to my senior prom over instant messenger. Later, my date confessed that he was too afraid I’d say no to ask me in person. Over instant messenger he appeared calm and nonchalant when he asked me to be his date.

We want to be loved.  I get emails from people all over the world. Most are emails from girls who want me to know how my books have touched their lives. But occasionally I receive emails that read more like a confession than a friendly hello. Many of these emails come from out of the country. It’s almost like the further away people are physically the more comfortable they feel sharing their hidden sins. Just this week I received one.

“I’m too ashamed to tell anyone in my real life about this,” a girl wrote. “But the guilt has been nagging me and I just have to tell someone. You seemed safe.” As I read between the lines of her email it was as if I could hear her heart crying, Please tell me I’m not beyond being loveable.  It reminded me of so many status updates I’ve read recently.

What about you? Why do you like social networking? What dangers do you need to be on the lookout for? Are there issues going on in your heart that affect how you interact online? 

If you missed yesterday’s post, What is a Naked Facebooker?, you can read it here.

Tomorrow’s post–Curiosity: The Impulse to Gawk When Others Take it All Off

Tiffany Smith wants to know if anyone else thinks about their life in terms of their Facebook status?

I laughed when I read the status update of one of my “friends”. She was someone I didn’t know well, but I could relate to what she was saying. Anytime I was doing anything remotely interesting I spent more time fantasizing about how I would condense it into 140 characters or less than I did actually enjoying the moment. It’s like I believed a crowd of people was just waiting for me to document my next move.

What is the big deal about these simple sentences anyway? When one “friend” updated her status to let the world know she started her period, and another friend divulged the painful details of a messy breakup and still another “friend” posted a note about almost being raped at a party, I began to see that while Facebook was still a community it was a lot like living in a house without any walls.

Houses have walls for a reason. Imagine if you went home tonight and suddenly the neighbors could see everything going on inside your house. It would seem creepy. Even weirder still would be if the inside of the house didn’t have any walls (or had glass walls) and the people in the kitchen could see the person in the bathroom. Talk about losing your appetite! Or imagine how awkward it would be to go into your bedroom only to discover that everyone else in the house could see and hear everything you were doing. There would be no private phone conversations. And stripping down to take a shower would be uncomfortable to say the least.

After less than 24-hours in that situation you would be left thinking: Can’t I just have some privacy please? That’s a novel concept in today’s world where we’re taught to post everything about ourselves in public profiles. Now everything from conflicts with friends to new crushes and heartbreaks are put on display for the world to see.

Unfortunately, in a world of advanced technology, not much is covered up anymore. Have you ever found yourself writing something on your profile in hopes of impressing someone? Have you ever posted a note hoping that someone out there might understand you and what you are going through? Have you ever posted something to your profile or someone else’s hoping that it would shock someone and get his or her attention? If you answered yes to any of those questions you just might be a naked Facebooker.

Proverbs 4:23 says: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Those first three words, above all else, imply urgency. Before you log on to update your status or peruse the updates of others, let’s jump into just what guarding your heart means in regards to online networking. This week we’ll learn how to bring a new kind of modesty to the internet. We’ll call it social modesty. It’ll be the next big thing. 

What about you? Have you ever posted TMI on your profile? Does it bother you when other people do? Chime in and share your thoughts. Is social modesty necessary in the world today?      

Tomorrow’s post–Connection: Why We Feel Compelled to Bare it All