Finding Jesus

December 7th, 2010

Nativity

Welcome to any new friends who found me as a result of Karen Ehman’s blog. (If you are one of my regular readers you may want to pop over to Karen’s blog for her 12 days of Christmas giveaway.)

The Christmas season is in full swing, and I’m beginning to feel exhausted just thinking about all I have to do before December 25th. Last week I found myself grumbling my way through my husband’s work Christmas party, and running 45 minutes late for a dinner party, and I knew my attitude needed some work.

While I knew I needed to change, I wasn’t quite sure how to implement something that would last for more than five minutes.

That’s when I was reminded of a game one of my sisters-in-law plays with her two sons this time of year. Every time they go into a store, they have a contest to see who can find Jesus first.

“Sometimes it takes awhile,” she says. “But we always find Him.”

I found myself pondering her words as I watched strangers parade around in ugly sweaters trying to get votes at my husband’s party while secretly wishing I could be at the women’s Christmas event at church the same night.

Could I find Jesus, even in my circumstance?

Yes. When I chose to examine why my husband and I were at this party in the first place, I realized God had blessed Michael’s business incredibly this year and He had provided for us in some amazing ways. Spotting Jesus in the midst of my holiday harrumph was enough to snap my attitude back into a posture of thankfulness.

In Jeremiah 29:13 God promises to be found by those who seek Him with their whole hearts. That means every time we look around God promises to be found. He doesn’t promise to change our circumstances to our liking, but He does promise to make Himself known to us.

What an incredible gift. It definitely doesn’t leave us any room to have a bad attitude.

Maybe you need a little change of perspective this Christmas season. Try what my sister-in-law does. Every time you enter a store search for Jesus until you find Him.

When you do, let it serve as a reminder that God always reveals Himself to a genuinely seeking heart.

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Posted in Christmas, Life Lessons | 4 Comments »

Unplugged: Confessions of a Former Technology Addict

November 8th, 2010

iStock_000006119613XSmallA few weeks ago, I weaved my way through a busy crowd during the lunch-hour rush at my local Panera. I was meeting a friend I hadn’t had much time to connect with to catch up and say goodbye before she moved out of state to pursue a new job opportunity.

I spotted her across the room, gave a short wave and went to get us a table while she ordered for both of us. We only had one hour, which is never enough time when two friends have to give each other a rundown of the last few months.

We settled in quickly and began to talk fast. She went first, I followed and then we both took a quick breath and started shoving food in our mouths. About halfway through our lunch both of our phones started beeping and buzzing…

(To read the rest of this entry, click on over to She Seeks where I’m blogging today.)

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Living Your Goodbyes

November 5th, 2010

gravesite

Death never comes at a convenient time. Even when you know it’s looming it’s still an unwelcome guest.  

Sunday my husband’s sweet grandfather had a massive stroke. He was gone within days. In between there was a series of phone calls inviting family members to come and say any final words.

This was Michael’s first time walking down the dark hallway of saying farewell to a loved one. Unfortunately, I’ve already passed this way on a few occasions. So, with tears in his eyes he came to me on Tuesday and asked a question we all grapple with at one time or another: How do I say goodbye?

He was contemplating what to say if he ventured to the hospital for one last look at a man he is named after. It was a question I knew I couldn’t answer for him. But I offered him a few thoughts from my experience of losing my own grandfather.

“Everybody does it their own way,” I said gently reminding him that I chose not to go to the hospital one last time to say goodbye to my own grandpa. Since he was no longer coherent, I chose instead to stand in his closet and smell his shirts so I could burn his scent into my mind as my final way of acknowledging him.

What I explained to Michael is that we don’t really say goodbye. We live it. For me, I knew a day was coming when my grandpa wouldn’t be here anymore. So I treated every visit like it was the last. When we played board games I made sure to call him out when he was cheating and laugh it off when he denied it. That always got him laughing too.

Every hug was treated like a last hug with an extra squeeze and a kiss on the cheek thrown in. My last visit with him, before he went into the hospital, was a good one. It was his birthday and I brought him a burger and fries from his favorite fast food place. My grandma is a good cook, so he didn’t get fast food often.

I chose to make my actions count every time I was around him. Every “I love you” was spoken when he could look me in the eye and understand what I was saying. My goal was to say goodbye well every opportunity I got so I would never find myself awkwardly stumbling over my words in a sterile hospital room or at a graveside.

Everybody grieves their own way. There is nothing wrong with hospital room or graveside goodbyes. But we would all do well to practice the art of living our goodbyes so we never find ourselves trying to make up for lost time in the final moments.

We only get one life, and for each of us the time is running out. Make every minute count. Make sure the people you love know it so you never have to wonder if you they did.

Don’t save your goodbyes for life’s darkest hours. Live them every opportunity you get.

That’s how you really say goodbye.

Have you ever had to say a painful goodbye? How did you find the words? Do you cling to happy memories to help you cope with a loss? What is your way of saying goodbye?

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Posted in Life Lessons, Tough Stuff | 15 Comments »

Lessons from a Starfish

November 3rd, 2010

Starfish Long

The orange burst of color jumped out and took me by surprise.

I was walking along the jetty watching sea lions play when something below the surface of the water caught my eye. A single orange starfish was clinging to a boulder a few feet away from me.

It was breathtaking.

The morning was overcast and there was a gray tone to the oceanfront setting. Everything around me was blue, white or brown. But there, nearly hidden from sight, was this bright burst of color that lit up the entire scene around me. I scrambled for my camera and silently hoped my mediocre photography skills could capture the moment.

In life we all have dreary seasons where it seems like we are pushing our way through shades of gray, white or brown. A little color could make a lot of difference in our perspectives and our attitudes.

Just as this orange starfish cheered a tired place in my soul, I realized I have the potential to be a bright burst of color in the life of someone who needs it. Bright things aren’t always big things, and in many cases they are actually small things that make a huge impact.

▪Quick phones call just to say hi

▪Handwritten notes

▪A favorite candy bar

▪Hugs with an extra tight squeeze

▪Time to listen

Little bursts of color. They can be the difference between a bad day and a good day. Used strategically they can turn an enemy into a friend. Small acts that mark big turning points.

Each of us have the potential to be like that starfish and make somebody’s day.

How has a “starfish moment” changed you? Was there a time when someone did something small that made a huge impact on you? Who have you blessed with an unexpected act of kindness recently?

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Posted in Life Lessons | 8 Comments »

The Difference Between A Dream and The Calling

October 28th, 2010

veggie_bob2

Bob the Tomato spoke at my college graduation.

Well, technically, Phil Vischer was the commencement speaker. But he did do the Bob voice. So that counts, right?

It was 2003 and Phil had just survived the bankruptcy and collapse of the VeggieTales empire. There was something raw and courageous about the way he spoke. Everyone in the gymnasium sat on the edge of their seats as he repeatedly asked, and attempted to answer, his own haunting question:

What do you do when you have a dream, God shows up in it, and then it dies?

I was twenty-one years old. My first book had been published the summer before. Two publishers and a literary agent wanted to talk to me about my future as an author. In a few months I would be speaking at events on a major platform with some big names. All of my dreams were coming true.

Yet, I knew I needed to listen and pay close attention. Phil had learned some very important lessons about God and dreams and I wished desperately for a pen to take notes. Since I didn’t have one on me, I opted to purchase the CD of his commencement address and the book he later released detailing the same story.

I’ve thought of Phil Vischer often in the last seven years. During a season in my own ministry where it looked like my dreams were surely dead I pounded my feet to a treadmill as I listened to his commencement address again.

A few weeks ago, Phil was on Focus on the Family radio. When several people suggested I listen to the podcasts I knew it was time to revisit his story. This time Phil was further removed from the pain he experienced in 2003 and he was filled with even more wisdom.

He said something that struck me and seemed to answer questions I was still forming in the deep places of my heart. I don’t remember how he worded it exactly, but he said something like:

You can’t confuse the calling with the dream. You must ask God if each little, specific, thing is part of His will for you.

He went on to explain that he knew God’s calling on his life was to make life-changing movies from a Christian worldview. But, during the VeggieTales, years he quickly confused that with becoming the Christian Walt Disney. Phil was busy dreaming of feature films, spinoff toy products, and even an amusement park. God was only asking Phil to develop creative stories that would teach the Bible to kids.

As Phil expanded his empire he began assuming that everything that fueled his dream was part of God’s will. Eventually, he found himself in over his head with his dream going up in smoke. He lost it all. Everything Phil poured into VeggieTales was packed into boxes and sold at a bankruptcy auction.

After listening to Phil’s recent interview I sat down with my journal and a pen. I divided all of the things I am currently doing into one of two categories—The Dream and The Calling. With raw honesty I began to examine my own course of action and determine what I knew to be God’s will for this season of my life and what I just assumed fit with the big picture I had conjured up in my head.

The results were surprising. I challenge you to use the same exercise, especially if you are pursuing a large dream. In the meantime, let’s talk about this.  

What do you think of the Phil’s words about differentiating the dream from the calling? When have you confused the two? How can we do a better job at evaluating what really is God’s calling on our lives and what just seems like it would fit? In what ways can Phil’s mistake keep us from making our own?  

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Posted in God, Life Lessons, Shannon Recommends, Tough Stuff | 5 Comments »

Urgent and Important Aren’t the Same Thing

October 26th, 2010

Clock

Urgency doesn’t always signal importance.

Have you ever noticed that? Most of the time, when someone asks me to drop everything I’m doing and tend to something that requires immediate attention, they are asking me to abandon something substantial to do something else.

For instance, when I’m in the middle of a workday and my cell phone rings three times and I notice it’s the same person calling, I typically answer. I’m expecting to hear news about something catastrophic. Usually though, it’s just a friend who really wants to tell me a funny story or update me on some of her drama. This information doesn’t merit three phone calls in five minutes—and it certainly isn’t worth interrupting my work day for.

People do this with projects too. Suddenly your partner decides you need a diorama to use as a visual aid the night before the big presentation in your history class. Your small group leader calls in a panic because nobody is bringing dessert to Bible study and you really need to do it. Or you get ask to cover for someone who just flat dropped the ball.

On most occasions, the critical stuff is what gets scheduled on our calendars—it’s what we plan ahead for. The last minute stuff that often creeps up usually consists of nothing more than distractions. It’s a bright idea nobody thought of in time or a change of plans when the first plan will work just fine.

For years I got caught up in the urgent and I couldn’t figure out why I never got anything done. I would plan ahead and prepare, but I was always rushing at the last minute in every area of my life. I’m learning that just because something has to get done right now or it won’t get done in time, it doesn’t mean this urgent thing needs to be done by me or that it even needs to be done at all.

Last week I had three people come to me with urgent requests. They asked me to rearrange my schedule and get these things done. The problem was, my week was already filled with imperative things—things that really needed to be done. As I evaluated the urgent requests before me I noticed that the world wouldn’t stop if these tasks weren’t completed.

So I said no. I tried to be as nice as possible, but no doesn’t usually go over well no matter how you present it and I had three very startled people on my hands. It was almost like I could hear them saying, What about this urgent thing? If you don’t do it nobody will and it will go undone.

In the first case, a compromise was reached that involved the other person taking on the responsibility. The second situation was resolved with rescheduling this urgent item to a time where it could be given the attention it deserved. Unfortunately, the last situation ended with the urgent thing going undone. But you know what? Even that worked out ok.

The urgent situations that pelted me last week didn’t derail me. I protected my time and the things that were most valuable to me. Everything that truly needed to get done got done. By the weekend I was breathing a huge sigh of relief instead of scrambling in a panic. As I took in the calmness around me I realized that saying no had been difficult but it had been worth it.

I would exchange the chaos for the peace anytime.

What about you? Do you find yourself constantly bogged down with the urgent while the important goes unattended? How do you determine what really needs to be done and what just seems like it does? Who stands out to you as a good example of someone who knows how to balance the important and the urgent?

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Sometimes I Get Quiet

October 20th, 2010

iStock_000008962604XSmall

Words are my currency.

I make my living spending words. My ministry endeavors usually involve pouring out words for the blessing and benefit of others. Prayers are my word offerings to the Lord. The Bible is His Word written to me.

Often I joke that God must have given me a higher word limit than most people. I write, I speak, I teach, I blog, I pray and I enjoy regular everyday conversation without running out of words.

Most of the time.

Sometimes, though, I run out of things to say. I get quiet. People notice and their instant response is to ask what’s wrong.

This week I had back to back meetings—one in person and the other on the phone. I was uncharacteristically quiet during both. As it was happening I noticed, and I knew others did too. Almost immediately after both meetings someone approached me with the familiar questions.

What’s wrong? Are you ok? You seem quiet. Are you coming down with something?

At first I brushed it off as being tired. It’s a busy ministry season for me. I am tired so that’s a logical conclusion to draw. However, it wasn’t until I curled up by myself with a cup of tea that I noticed that my quietness was due to more than being tired.

The real reason, I discovered, that I’ve been quieter lately is that few opportunities present themselves in my life where all I need to do is listen.

At Bible study, I’m the teacher. During writing and speaking conferences I’m typically teaching a workshop. At girls’ retreats and conferences I’m the speaker. On the pages of my books or this blog, I’m the author.

Do you see a pattern there? In many areas of my life I’m the voice, the one speaking, talking, teaching and instructing others. And I love every minute of it. Nothing brings me greater joy than doing what God has called me to do with my life.

But there are still moments when the well of my own words runs dry. Instead of speaking up in a meeting or a group conversation I find myself eager to listen and hesitant to speak. It’s not always that I don’t have something I could say. Instead, it’s usually that I’m hoping someone else will have a valuable insight or nugget of truth that they can hand off to me.

I don’t know everything. While I love being the teacher, or the voice, I need to make a conscious effort to be the student whenever I can. Those moments are rare and valuable to me.

So when I am sitting in a group of colleagues or friends and other people are willing to talk about what they are learning or their ideas about what to do next, I just want to listen—to take a deep breath and inhale the fragrance of someone else’s wisdom.

To me, there’s something peaceful about listening. Suddenly my life doesn’t seem so frantic or hurried. My mind isn’t racing to find the answer to someone else’s question. Instead I get to sit and ponder. For a brief moment of time I get to wonder without having to solve.

It’s in my moments of silence, when I am once again the student, that I learn something new. In growing and changing I find a renewed passion to venture out on a quest for answers and become the teacher again.

What about you? Are you “the voice” in your circles of influence? If so, what do you to when you need to recharge? Are you more of a listener all the time? What insights have you gained from your moments of quiet listening?

 

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Grace for What Is Not for What Might Be

October 14th, 2010

womaninprayer

Advil and an ice bag.

That’s how I spent my weekend. My husband and I had plans to attend a wedding, go to church and do a few other things.

But that came to an abrupt halt when I woke up on Saturday morning unable to move without excruciating back pain.

In the past, doctors told me I have a high threshold for pain. But what I experienced over the weekend was off the charts for me. Sitting up was impossible. So, I laid flat on my back on the couch icing for thirty minutes and then resting for thirty minutes on and off. I was also popping Advil every six hours.

Sunday was much of the same. There’s not much you can do from flat on your back. Pray, read, watch TV, take a nap. I did all of those things.

When I was still in pain on Sunday night I began to worry. Monday nights I teach a women’s Bible study. Am I going to be able to teach? Should I ice my back on the drive to church? My mind raced with questions.

By Monday morning the pain was milder but there was still a genuine discomfort and the occasional sharp twinge. So ice and Advil aided me throughout the day again. During small group discussion time before I taught, my back was bothering me so I silently prayed for the grace to get up and teach. Every few minutes I adjusted my position in my chair to try to find a sweet spot.  

When I took the stage I was pain free for the duration of my teaching. It wasn’t until I sat down afterwards that I felt my back start hurting again. The exact same thing happened when I guest taught another Bible study for a sick friend on Wednesday morning.

Intense pain except for the thirty minutes I was teaching. Twice. How odd.

God had given me grace for the moment. He released the pressure in my back just long enough for me to do what He had commissioned me to do. Although I would have preferred a complete removal of the pain, God gave me the strength I needed to teach though it.

He had equipped me for a difficulty in the moment I needed it.

This week I also received a phone call with some potential bad news. A loved one needs a biopsy. Together we’re hanging in the balance between what could be no big deal and what could be cancer.

When I hung up from the call my mind began to race and swirl. Where is God’s grace in this moment?

Then it hit me. God wasn’t giving me grace for a maybe. Instead, He chooses to give us the grace and strength we need to face difficult moments as they come. If the news is bad, and it turns out to be cancer, He’ll give me and my loved one the ability to face the situation head on.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says God’s grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in our weakness.

It doesn’t say He gives us all the grace and strength we need up front so we will have it incase we need it. No, grace and strength come as we need them—not before.

God will be with you in the midst of every real trial. But He doesn’t travel with us into our imagined worries because our potential problems don’t actually exist.

Grace for the moment. I’m thanking God for it and choosing to rest in it today.

How has God given you the grace and strength you need in a difficult moment? Do you worry about trials that haven’t materialized? How does this post change your perspective?

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Posted in My Life, Tough Stuff | 3 Comments »

Big Decisions, Not Enough Time

October 12th, 2010

Enjoying the sun

Rash decisions.

We’ve all made them at one point or another.

Lately, I’ve found myself busier than I’ve been in a long time with plenty of good things. When I get busy, though, I tend to turn on some internal form of autopilot that allows me to speed through my inbox, voicemail and in person interactions quickly responding to invitations.

“Yes, I can come to your party.”

“No, I’m sorry I can’t donate that many books right now.”

“I’ll consider writing that book proposal.”

“My calendar is slammed right now. Can we do coffee around Thanksgiving?”

But there have been other offers and opportunities that have come my way that have been far more difficult to wade through. They seem to have come with a disclaimer directly from God. Do not answer this one until I tell you to.

So emails have sat in my inbox, and messages have been left on my voicemail, that have gone unreturned for longer than etiquette would deem appropriate simply because I didn’t know what to say.

Certain decisions have required prayer. I don’t mean a quick cry for wisdom on my way out the door in the morning. But real, time set aside to get on my face, prayer.

It was through this series of sensitive requests that I realized my schedule hadn’t been built to allow time for such seeking. In the midst of my busyness I didn’t give myself any room to make big decisions. There wasn’t space on my calendar for longer prayer.

I was left unequipped to handle the situations unfolding before me because I hadn’t created enough space in my life to seek the One who had the answer. Sure, I was having a daily quiet time. I was spending my days writing and teaching about how to apply the Bible to real life.

But my life was strangely disconnected from the wisdom I needed to navigate the decisions ahead.

Some people call it margin. Others mark off space on their calendars and call it an appointment. I’m still not sure what I call it. But I know I need it.

Space. Time. Room to pray and seek and listen. More than a quiet time less than a retreat.

If I don’t find a way to build this into my life I run the risk of committing myself to things God never intended me to. I leave myself vulnerable to being duped by a good thing that could rob me from experiencing a great thing.

I could easily find myself trapped like Joshua and the Israelites were in Joshua 9 when they were busy sampling everything placed before them and forgot to inquire of the Lord before making a life altering decision.

So, this week, I will seek. I will pray. And only then will I give my answer.

What about you? How do you make big decisions? What are some ways you build space to seek the Lord into your daily life? Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you needed to give an answer but didn’t have one? How did things work out?

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Posted in Life Lessons, Prayer | 6 Comments »

The Danger of Playing it Safe

October 7th, 2010

girloncouch

I used to be a person who dreamed big. Signing your first book contract when you are only twenty does that to you. Suddenly nothing seems impossible when God shows up in your life and does something you never imagined He would do.

I’ve been known to sign books, “Dream big, God does!” before scribbling my name. Two of my books tackle the topic of dreaming big. Several years ago if you would have asked me about dreaming big, I could have talked on the subject for hours.

But then life happened. Speaking contracts got cancelled because people with bigger names were willing to show up. Editors started to pass on a few of my book proposals. Things got complicated and some of my dreams were crushed in the process.

In order to cope I adjusted my expectations not realizing I was shrinking the size of my dreams and, by default, my God. I figured I didn’t need big dreams. A small, quiet, life could please God too. Or so I thought.

On Tuesday night I started reading Do You Know Who I Am?  By Angela Thomas. In each chapter she poses a question women ask and responds with a question God asks us.

Throughout the pages of chapter one, Angela begins to unpack the truth that we are all made to dream big dreams because God is worthy of the glory that will come from the fulfillment of those dreams.

She teaches on the parable of the talents (Matthew 25) and the three men who were entrusted with some of their master’s money while he was away. It’s an analogy for the gifts God has given us and how we use them on this side of eternity.

The first two turn a profit and when the master returns they are able to give him double what was entrusted to them. Sadly, the third man buried his talent and had only what the master had given him.

That parable is familiar to me. In fact, I’ve taught it several times. But Angela wrote something about that last man that caught me by the throat and shook me hard.

“The servant reported that instead of multiplying his possession, he had just kept the talent safe, but that was not the master’s intent. God wants the glory from your talents and mine” (p. 16).

Safe. That word defined my new approach to life. I didn’t want to dream big dreams and be disappointed. So I started dreaming safe dreams instead. Instead of dreaming about how God might want to use me, I began to believe that His biggest works in my life were all in my past.

Somehow I had come to believe that God’s plan for the rest of my life would be mild and quiet. Vanilla. There was to be no more risk, no more pain, no more dreaming big.

The scariest part of all of this is that I didn’t realize my thinking had changed.

I panicked as I read Angela’s book. As I began processing what she was saying I understood that I was shouting at heaven saying, “Do You know I’m afraid to dream big?”

For the first time in a long time I also understood that God was lovingly answering my shouting with a question of His own: Do you know I AM worthy?

Suddenly, my world was turned on its side. My safe plans for my life suddenly looked bland. They didn’t include multiplying anything God had given me. Instead, they were consumed with ways I could keep the things God had entrusted to me safe.

Safe. There is nothing safe about faith. You can’t follow wholeheartedly after God by making precise measurements and calculations.

At some point you have to take a risk. We all reach a point of no return. Each of us must decide if we are going to trust God or if we are going to play it safe.

Tuesday night, as my mind raced long after I shut Angela’s book and turned out the light, I decided that safe was going to become a thing of my past.

My future is going to be all about glorifying the One who is worthy. 

What about you?

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Posted in Fear, Life Lessons | 11 Comments »

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