The end of this summer will mark five happy years of marriage for me. Unfortunately, for some of my friends this is not the case.

While I’ve been busy domesticating myself by doing things like burning my arms while trying to attempt cooking feasts fit for kings, decorating and cleaning a house, and kissing a super cute guy goodnight every night some of my friends have been asking difficult questions, looking to heaven with tear filled eyes and wondering when it’s going to be their turn.

While my heart breaks for them, I can only imagine their pain. I can’t relate to it. By the time I was twenty-three I was married. So, I often keep my mouth shut when the topic of singleness comes up and one of my single friends needs to vent.

If there’s one thing I don’t ever want to be it’s the married friend who offers simple platitudes instead of genuine empathy when it comes to serious matters of the heart. Maybe this is because I was the token single girl in my group of friends during high school and I never want to make anyone else feel the way I felt then.

So, for the last five years, I have kept my feet from treading on the holy territory of my friends broken hearts. I’ve listened with patience and cried with them, but I have not opened my mouth to offer trite sayings or even advice. Aside from the rare occasions where I was actually asked for such input, I have succeeded in avoiding topics where I felt like my two cents didn’t belong.

Until (you knew that was coming didn’t you?) I found myself in Starbucks a few weeks ago talking with a new friend who is exactly my age, in a similar profession and desperately wishing she was married. I quietly sipped my chai latte and watched the summer rain fall outside as I listened intently not just to her words but to her heart.

Something in the soul of this friend needed to be encouraged and without even realizing it I found myself offering a small piece of advice from my experience. She looked at me wide eyed almost like I’d slapped her.

“I’m so sorry,” I quickly began to back pedal. “Married Girl should shut up. I know.” Inwardly I chided myself for my lack of sensitivity.

“No, no,” she went on. “That is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing that with me. I don’t feel alone anymore.”

Now it was my turn to look at her wide eyed.

Had I been keeping my mouth shut when I had encouraging words to offer for the past five years? Was I missing out on an opportunity to minister to other people because I was afraid it wasn’t my place to speak up?

These thoughts honestly hadn’t crossed my mind. James 1:19 admonishes us to be quick to listen and slow to speak, and I think there is a tremendous amount of wisdom in not always having something to say. But there are also times when we are to share a little piece of our stories with someone even if our circumstances look completely different than theirs.

2 Corinthians 1:4 says God comforts us so we can comfort others. Is there a piece of your story that could offer comfort to someone else? Have you been holding it back out of fear of feeling unqualified?

Be on the lookout for people who may need the words God gave you to share. Even if their lives look completely different than yours step forward in faith and share them anyway. You never know the difference it will make.

Do you have a story about how you have encouraged (or been encouraged by) an unlikely person? If so, I’d love to hear about it.