Several years ago I sat at the breakfast table at a camp where I was speaking. The girl next to me didn’t want to talk. But she kept staring at me.
Do I have something on my face? Does she hate my book and not want to tell me? My mind raced.
That afternoon I taught my workshop and noticed my breakfast friend sitting in the crowd. She made me nervous—especially when she walked out in the middle. Later that evening she came to my book table in a blubbering mess.
“My sister loved your book,” she said. “She was killed in a car accident while she was looking for her ringing cell phone. Your book—underlined and highlighted—was the last thing she read. She was living for the Audience of One when she died.”
I took a slow breath as I let the words sink in. She wasn’t done.
“I left the church and was living as far from God as I could,” she said, her voice still shaky. “But they read from your book and my sister’s journal at her funeral, and I saw that God was real to her. And I wanted that for me. I’m back in church now. I’ve changed my life. I want to dance for the Audience of One too.”
By this time my face was wet with tears. I managed to choke out a question about how long it had been since she lost her sister. Four months. In the midst of still fresh pain this girl was clawing her way through the darkness desperately seeking God.
Why do some people find God in tragedy while others leave Him? I still wrestle with this question, but I think I’m beginning to grasp the answer. Tragedy either clarifies or clouds what we are looking for God to be. Those of us who know what we are looking for see Him. The rest of us don’t.
What do I mean by that? If your tragedy is that you have a dad who left your family, or abused you, or is still around but ignores you, then the aspect of God you are crying out for is Abba—the Father nature of God (Gal. 4:6).
But if you don’t recognize that you are looking for God to be a Father to you, you can easily look at your circumstances and think God must surely not be real if He let your dad betray you. Instead of looking for God to meet your need, you’ve expected Him to fix your problem. That doesn’t always happen.
The girl I met at that camp still had a dead sister—but she found a living God. Her problem wasn’t fixed, but her need for a healer was met as God gave her the strength she needed each day to go on.
On Monday I’ll write more about how to identify what it is you are looking for God to be. But first let me make a few things clear: there is only one God, although He gives Himself many names in Scripture. I also want to point out that we are all in need of a Savior. We are separated from God due to sin and Christ is the only way we can bridge that chasm.
But sometimes our perspective is off. We can’t always see our need for a Savior because we don’t understand sin and the gap it creates. But we can see other broken areas of our lives and claim God isn’t fixing them. So we choose not to believe in Him.
God is real. Life is hard. Many times it is when life is hardest that we can see God most clearly—if we know how to look. Next week we’ll talk about how to do just that.





















