Posts Tagged ‘God’

Doubting God in Tragedy

Friday, September 11th, 2009

gravesite

Several years ago I sat at the breakfast table at a camp where I was speaking. The girl next to me didn’t want to talk. But she kept staring at me.

Do I have something on my face? Does she hate my book and not want to tell me? My mind raced.

That afternoon I taught my workshop and noticed my breakfast friend sitting in the crowd. She made me nervous—especially when she walked out in the middle. Later that evening she came to my book table in a blubbering mess.

“My sister loved your book,” she said. “She was killed in a car accident while she was looking for her ringing cell phone. Your book—underlined and highlighted—was the last thing she read. She was living for the Audience of One when she died.”

I took a slow breath as I let the words sink in. She wasn’t done.

“I left the church and was living as far from God as I could,” she said, her voice still shaky. “But they read from your book and my sister’s journal at her funeral, and I saw that God was real to her. And I wanted that for me. I’m back in church now. I’ve changed my life. I want to dance for the Audience of One too.”

By this time my face was wet with tears. I managed to choke out a question about how long it had been since she lost her sister. Four months. In the midst of still fresh pain this girl was clawing her way through the darkness desperately seeking God.

Why do some people find God in tragedy while others leave Him? I still wrestle with this question, but I think I’m beginning to grasp the answer. Tragedy either clarifies or clouds what we are looking for God to be. Those of us who know what we are looking for see Him. The rest of us don’t.

What do I mean by that? If your tragedy is that you have a dad who left your family, or abused you, or is still around but ignores you, then the aspect of God you are crying out for is Abba—the Father nature of God (Gal. 4:6).

But if you don’t recognize that you are looking for God to be a Father to you, you can easily look at your circumstances and think God must surely not be real if He let your dad betray you. Instead of looking for God to meet your need, you’ve expected Him to fix your problem. That doesn’t always happen.

The girl I met at that camp still had a dead sister—but she found a living God. Her problem wasn’t fixed, but her need for a healer was met as God gave her the strength she needed each day to go on.

On Monday I’ll write more about how to identify what it is you are looking for God to be. But first let me make a few things clear: there is only one God, although He gives Himself many names in Scripture. I also want to point out that we are all in need of a Savior. We are separated from God due to sin and Christ is the only way we can bridge that chasm.

But sometimes our perspective is off. We can’t always see our need for a Savior because we don’t understand sin and the gap it creates. But we can see other broken areas of our lives and claim God isn’t fixing them. So we choose not to believe in Him.

God is real. Life is hard. Many times it is when life is hardest that we can see God most clearly—if we know how to look. Next week we’ll talk about how to do just that.

“I Don’t Believe in God Anymore.”

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

SadnessLately I’ve been exchanging emails with a teen girl who doesn’t know if she believes in God anymore.

Despite her lifetime of churchgoing she’s not sure she’s ever really believed. She can pinpoint a moment when she said the sinner’s prayer, but her current doubts are louder than that distant memory.

Yesterday I threw a comment up on Facebook and Twitter asking people to share about their experiences with doubt and overcoming it. Somebody will surely be able to help me, I thought to myself. Then the comments and messages began rolling in: I have doubts too.

Suddenly George Barna’s statistic that 80% of churchgoing teens leave the Christian faith before their 29th birthdays became real before my eyes. That percentage grew faces and names in an instant. Part of me wanted to jump on a tour bus and travel the United States, pen in hand, observing America’s churches and figuring out where we are going wrong.

Why is the church only able to hang on to two out of every ten girls who walk into youth group? Those numbers literally make me sick.

Information transfer doesn’t produce a relationship, and a relationship is the only thing that will get a person into heaven and keep a person in church. Relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ is the only thing that can change a person’s life. No amount of volunteering at church, Bible knowledge or youth group attendance is going to cut it.

Yet, week in and week out youth pastors around the nation stand before groups of your peers and throw a bunch of information at them from a book. Sounds a lot like what your English teacher, science teacher and even your history teacher do. The difference is America’s high schools have a higher success rate than its churches.

“My church is going through a dry spell but they are praying for revival,” the girl who now questions her belief in God recently wrote to me. “I doubt it will ever come.” It was then that I realized she wasn’t asking me to scientifically prove that God was real. She didn’t want me to debate evolution verses creationism. What she wanted was to feel the breath of God on her face. She wanted to reach out and touch Him.

The church is losing your peers for one reason: you want to experience God and the guys in pulpits want to talk to you about Him. This scene is as old as time. Thomas was a doubter too. You may think you have it bad because you’re a lifetime church attendee and you wonder if God is real. Thomas was one of Jesus’ elite 12—and he didn’t believe in the resurrection until he placed his hands inside of Jesus’ scars.

What was Jesus’ response to a doubter that should have known better? Was it a rebuke for his lack of faith? Was it anger over not being trusted? Was it disappointment in someone He expected more from?

Jesus’ response to Thomas was simple. Come. To the one who needed to see to believe this is what Jesus said: “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe” (John 20:27).

Over the next few days on the blog we’re going to wrestle with this issue of doubt, and we’re going to talk about the why behind the startling statistics. Let’s work this thing out together.

To those who want an experience and not a sermon, Jesus holds out His nail scarred hands and says, “Come.”

 What are some of your major questions about God? Why do you think 80% of your peers will eventually leave the church? Does this statistic surprise you? Why or why not?

Salon Blonde Christianity

Monday, September 7th, 2009

salonblonde

Two years ago I made a life altering decision. I changed my hair color. A natural brunette, I spent thirteen years dying my hair blonde before I decided I wanted a change. Without discussing it with anyone else I waltzed into the hair salon with a photo of Kate Walsh and asked my hairstylist, Liz, to make me a redhead. She studied the picture, blinked twice and jumped in. I left the salon looking—and feeling—like a new person.

 The reaction was mixed. Some people loved my red hair. A few hated it. Most had a hard time adjusting. It was just so different. I went from being the status quo, Southern California, blonde to being a vibrant redhead. That was unsettling to those who only knew me as a blonde.

It wasn’t long before I realized people have similar perceptions about faith… 

To read the rest of this post, visit me over at the She Seeks website. I’ll be guest blogging over there every now and then. It’s a great site aimed at Christian women between the ages of 19-29. You’ll love it.

And, rumor has it, if you come visit me this week you can enter a contest to win some very fun prizes! So, stop by and leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Is is Really About Happy?

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

happy

On Monday, I blogged about perspective and how certain things tend to color or influence the way we perceive things. But did you realize they can also affect the way we feel things?

That’s right. Sometimes our feelings are influenced by our misperceptions. If we aren’t careful this can be disastrous.

I’m a big-time guilt wrestler. Unfortunately, a lot of my guilt is motivated by the wrong things. For instance, when I’m working on multiple writing projects my house gets neglected and I feel a bit guilty that Michael and I are living in a quasi pigsty. Or if I eat a double portion of dessert without hitting the gym, I’m definitely feeling bogged down by guilt at the end of the day.

But when I think a hateful thought about someone who hurt me, or I tell a lie to get out of a bind, I’m not as inclined to feel guilty because I’m motivated by my own self preservation. You see, my perspective is off kilter. I feel guilty about things that affect me physically like how clean my house is or the amount of weight I might be gaining. But I don’t feel guilt about things that affect me spiritually and corrode my fellowship with Christ.

What’s the deal with that? Where did my perspective get so messed up? My problem begins when I start focusing on my happiness instead of God’s desire for me: holiness. Happiness and holiness are two totally different things.

In My Utmost for His Highest this week I read these words by Oswald Chambers:

God is not an eternal blessing-machine for men; He did not come to save men out of pity: He came to save them because He had created them to be holy.

There is both good news and bad news in this. The good news is this liberates me from the guilt I feel during weeks when my house gets a little dirty or on nights when I doubly indulge in dessert. Things like that aren’t important in the grand scheme of things. The bad news, if you want to call it that, is that God is very much concerned with my heart toward someone who hurt me and whether or not I’m honest even when I’m in a bind.

Sure, hating someone who hurt me and lying to get out of something I no longer want to do can be great tools when it comes to self preservation. But self preservation always keeps me from God’s best for my life. His goal for me is holiness. That means the sin I cling to so comfortably has got to go. Purging it is my only choice.

Some days it’s easy. Most days it’s down right hard. Holiness and happiness. Which one have you been holding up as your standard for living?

“Be holy for I am holy.” -1 Peter 1:16

Have you been living with the wrong perspective? How can focusing on happiness derail you from the path toward holiness? Why is striving for holiness so hard? What does it look like in the life of a teenage girl anyway?  

What Do You See?

Monday, August 31st, 2009

El Morro

A few weeks ago my husband Michael and I had the opportunity to vacation in Puerto Rico (we won a free trip—how cool is that?).

While we were there I purchased a new pair of sunglasses to block the ever present sun. I debated between several styles, but the saleswoman persuaded me to go with the pair with the extra anti-glare coating.

She encouraged me to step outside with these glasses on so I could see the various shades of the Puerto Rican ocean. The water looked like a beautiful swirl of blues and greens when I had these glasses on. But when I took them off the water returned to its normal blue.

Cool trick, I thought to myself as I walked through the resort moving my glasses up and down so I could watch the water change before my eyes. By the time we ventured into San Juan to tour the El Morro fort (pictured) a few days later, I was bored with the trick but happy with my new sunglasses.

There was so much history to see at El Morro that I was snapping pictures as fast as my digital camera would let me. On this camera there is no view finder. You can only see your subject on the digital screen. As I was trying to snap photos of one of the oldest lighthouses on U.S. soil I noticed my screen was just black.

“Great,” I muttered. “This is a brand new camera and I managed to break it on our first trip with it.” I turned to Michael and informed him that the quality of our photos might be questionable since I couldn’t see what I was actually shooting. He took the camera, turned it back on and pointed it toward me. He gave me a puzzled look.

“This camera works fine,” he said and handed it back. I turned and pointed it toward a cannon. Again the screen was black.

“No it’s not,” I said defensively.

“I can see the cannon,” he said exasperated. I froze. Then I slowly pulled down my sunglasses. I could see the cannon too. Holding the camera in the bright sunlight created a glare on the screen and my new anti-glare sunglasses effectively blocked out the glare—and the picture. When I realized this I started laughing. For the rest of they day, anytime I took a photo I had to take my sunglasses off.

I’ve now come to realize that wearing my new sunglasses alters my perspective of things around me. We all have moments like that in life. For instance, if you have a dad who has done nothing but disappoint you then you may have a hard time trusting God.

Or, if you have a boyfriend who says he loves you, you might be willing to compromise your purity for the sake of that “love”. Some of us don’t have such dramatic stories, but we have our own set of influences that shape our perspective.

Sometimes we wear our own set of blockers that prevent us from seeing the reality of what’s right in front of us. The consequences can be far worse than a crooked picture.

What circumstances from your past have colored the way you see the present? Have you noticed a pattern of blocking out the truth of a situation and only seeing what you want to see? How has your worldview been shaped by your life? What are some of the dangers of not being able to see things as they really are?       

The 50% Factor

Friday, August 21st, 2009

fiftypercentThe other night I was reading my Bible and I came across something that really struck me in Numbers 13.

Here’s the setup. The children of Israel have been wandering in the dessert for quite some time now. They’ve seen the parting of the Red Sea, they’ve experienced manna (and even quail) from heaven and they’ve weathered the embarrassment that was the golden calf.

These people have seen God do great things for them, and they’ve witnessed the fiery anger that comes when they don’t take God at His word. And in Numbers 13:2 God speaks to Moses saying: “Send men to spy out the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the children of Israel…” (Emphasis mine).

So, Moses sends one man from each of the twelve tribes as God commanded. These men spend forty days scoping out the land of Canaan (otherwise known as the Promised Land), and they come back with a report.

In Numbers 13:27 the spies hold up large ripe fruit and say, “We went to the land where you sent us. It truly flows with milk and honey, and this is its fruit.” Translation: “What God said about this place is true.”

But in verses 28-31 they follow that statement up with: “Nevertheless the people who dwell in the land are strong…we are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we.” Translation: “But God was wrong about promising us this land. He can’t give it to us, it’s inhabited by giants.”

Thus, the people ended up with 50% faith. Their train of thought went something like this: “What God said about this land is true. But what He said about it being ours was wrong. Therefore God was only 50% right.”

And God got angry. Why did He get angry? The answer is found in Numbers 14:21 partway through His speech to Moses. “…but truly as I live, all the earth shall be filled with the glory of the LORD,” God said.

The people’s 50% faith angered God because it robbed Him of His glory. You see, it’s impossible to believe that God is who He says He is while simultaneously believing that God cannot (or will not) do what He says He is going to do. That type of paradox of belief strips God of His glory and dumbs Him down to being nothing more than a dreamer or an idealist or even worse—a liar.

Faith honors God, and God honors faith. But 50% faith will never do.

What percentage of faith would you say you have? Are you able to take God at His word or do you tend to be a doubter? If you doubt, why do you think you do? Do you think it’s possible to believe in God without believing God? Why or Why not?

She Speaks Lesson #3: Meeting God

Friday, August 14th, 2009

womaninprayerMy absolute favorite thing about the She Speaks conference was how God met me there. Since each of our relationships with God is such a personal thing, I’m not sure if anyone else will ever be able to fully understand how God met me in North Carolina.

But He did—over and over again. While at the conference I was exposed to some excellent teaching that will yield much professional and spiritual growth for me as I seek to apply it. But the thing that took my breath away wasn’t the teaching. It was the prayer room.

Proverbs 31 Ministries, the organization that puts the She Speaks conference on, is composed of some of the godliest women out there. When someone signs up for the conference they begin praying for her by name immediately. In the week leading up to the conference each woman’s name is printed on a strip of paper and once the staff gets to the hotel they take those strips of paper into the prayer room.

Throughout the prayer room the names of God, and verses explaining each name, are laid out on large sheets of paper. The names of the women are prayed over and then spread out across the names of God. Their prayer is that each woman’s name would be divinely placed on the name of God that best correlates with what she needs Him to be in this season of her life. Some of the stories women were telling about where their name was placed gave me chill bumps.

After a particularly moving time in worship on Saturday night I decided I was ready to meet with God in the prayer room. I recently finished Beth Moore’s Stepping Up Bible study and she taught us the discipline of praying on our faces. So, I ventured into the prayer room because I wanted to get facedown before the God of the universe.

But before I got on my face, I walked around looking for my name. When I saw it I began frantically looking around for a pen. I needed to capture every word and Scripture reference from that piece of paper because the prayers of the Proverbs 31 team had been answered. My name was placed just where it needed to be.

There in that prayer room God confirmed some things that He had been speaking to my heart all weekend. Things that only He and I knew. I. was. undone. And I was able to get on my face before Him in honest surrender and fully submit myself to whatever He had next.

This post isn’t long enough to explain the background information that makes my name being placed on that particular name of God so significant. And, in all honesty, right now it’s still something I would like to keep private between God and me. The story will come in time. Those of you who read this blog regularly will probably be among the first to see it. But, right now what name of God I most associate with isn’t important. The more pertinent question is which of His names most speaks to you.

When was the last time you studied the names of God? Pull out your Bible right now and use your concordance to help you locate some of His names that you may have forgotten about or might not even be aware of. During this season of life, what name of God best represents what you need Him to be for you?

Are You Afraid of Failure?

Friday, August 7th, 2009

Stage

Deep down, many of us are afraid of failing. More of us are probably afraid of criticism. None of us want to be told that our dreams can’t be made into reality or that we don’t have what it takes.

I don’t think there’s a soul alive that could be more afraid of criticism and failure than me.

Yet, I work in an industry where agents and editors scrutinize your work before they decide if they want to offer you a contract and other writers publicly critique your work once it’s complete and call it a review. Just today I lost a great opportunity because I don’t have enough Facebook friends or comments on my blog.

I could have cried about it. But I didn’t. Instead I shrugged it off and went back to work on the project I’m in the middle of. If anything, the lost opportunity made me work harder to be excellent. People are watching and I’m representing Christ.

I’m no expert in overcoming the fear of failure. In fact, I’m probably one harsh comment away from my next meltdown. But there are a few things I have learned about overcoming the fear of failure. I want to share three of them with you today.

1) Understand that failure and/or criticism won’t kill you. I know someone who tried out for American Idol recently. She was turned down in two cities. Do you know what she’s doing now? Fixing the things they told her they didn’t like and planning on traveling to a third city. This friend got turned down twice. Her “flaws” and mistakes were pointed out twice.

Each time she fixed what they suggested, improved as a singer and continued toward her goal. She could have stopped in the first city and cried herself to sleep for weeks. But she didn’t. She trusted the judgment of experts and decided to grow in the process. Even if she doesn’t make the show this season, she’ll probably be a better singer from the professional critique.

2) Do things that scare you. If you never expose yourself to the possibility of failure, if you never put yourself in a situation where you can be criticized, you will probably never do anything that really matters. Last week I went to a conference for professional writers and speakers, and I signed up to be critiqued by a group of my peers. Don’t think I wasn’t terrified. I was so nervous I could hardly see straight. But I knew I would never get better as a speaker if I didn’t put myself in an environment where I could figure out where I needed to improve. So I sought out a safe place where I could get the kind of feedback I needed.

I do the same thing with my writing. It goes to a team of people I trust to honestly critique it before it ever finds its way to an editor. Every time I see an email in my inbox from someone who is giving me feedback I have to calm my queasy stomach before I can open her email. But my work is always better for it.     

3) Don’t assume that God’s plans are ruined when yours are. Psalm 138:8 says that the Lord will fulfill His purpose for each of us. That means His plans for us aren’t ruined even when our plans for ourselves are. My senior year of high school I ran for senior class president. I lost the race by a narrow margin. A few weeks later I was offered the position of yearbook editor. Instead of spending my senior year politicking I spent it up to my elbows in publishing—fitting when you consider my future.

God knew then the plans He had mapped out for me. He had to disappoint me before He could exceed my expectations. My time as the yearbook editor was part of what made me choose to pursue journalism and writing in college.

When you trust a sovereign God who has good plans for you—plans to prosper you and not harm you—like Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, then you don’t need to fear failure. God is in control. Even if you experience a few disappointments and setbacks along the way, He will fulfill His purpose for you. Of that you can be sure.

How has a past failure or criticism helped you? Explain how something that once scared you became a growing experience when you were willing to step out in faith. Has there been a time in your life where God had to disappoint your plans to fulfill His plans for you?

What Are You Afraid Of?

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

teenage girl afraidA few weeks ago, someone suggested I do a blog series on fear. When I saw the request I thought: That’s a great idea…but writing on fear means wrestling with fear so I’ll put that one off awhile. Fear is one of my biggest battles. I fight it—or give into it—all the time.

Several years ago I went through a period where I was so gripped by fear that I had to have my husband pray aloud over me at night and sing worship songs with me just so I could fall asleep. In the past several years I’ve had moments where I was so paralyzed by fear that I turned down invitations and missed out on experiences.

Just this morning I lamented the fact that turning down an opportunity out of fear two years ago disqualified me from a new opportunity I wanted to take advantage of today. That got me thinking about what it is I’m really afraid of—and why.

My fear is really my arrogance suggesting that I think my way of doing things is better than God’s way of doing things. I fear because I’m not in control. Fear makes God little and circumstances big. In some cases fear can even make me seem bigger than God. Is the same true for you?

Think about it:

  • Fear of the death of a loved one questions God’s judgment over the fact that there is a time to be born and a time to die (Ecc.3:2) and fails to believe that God will continue to take care of me (Phil. 4:19).
  • Fear of failure questions God’s ability to work all things together for good (Rom. 8:28) and doubts that God really has plans to prosper me (Jer.29:11).
  • Fear of rejection stems from the fact that God’s love isn’t enough for me (Rom. 8:39) and I am really aiming to please men and not God (Gal. 1:10).

Think for a moment about your biggest fears. What do they say about your view of God?

The greatest adventures I’ve had in my walk with God have come when I was most afraid. Getting published came as a result of stepping out in faith and attending a writer’s conference even though I had no clue what I was doing. Marrying my husband only came after the uncertainty of dating a guy who was studying abroad in another country for four months. Traveling the country and speaking at events came as a result of getting over my fear of large crowds.  

We all seem to have different fears, but if we look at them closely they really boil down to a few common fears we all have. This week on the blog we’re going to look at just two of the fears that plague us. If there’s a good response in the comments section—and this is a topic you are interested in—I’ll come back for an encore.

On Wednesday we’ll talk about relationship fears and what our lack of trust really says about us. And on Friday we’ll talk about our fear of failure and not measuring up.

But, in the meantime, let’s talk about fear in general.

 What is your biggest fear? How do you typically view God in light of your fear? How have you seen God do a great work in your life when you trusted Him even though you were afraid?