Today’s Q&A Week question is one of my favorites: how can I stop comparing myself to other girls?
The best answer to that question is buried within the pages of Genesis 29 and 30, in the story of Leah. I’ll summarize it for you here. But I highly recommend you read it yourself.
Although the Bible doesn’t tell us whether Leah’s middle was too plump, or her chin was too pointed, or her face was always covered in huge oozing pimples, it does tell us she was anything but pleasant to look at. Simply put, Leah was ugly. She was so ugly in fact that her father had to cover her face with a veil in order to trick someone into marrying her.
Envision standing at the alter on your wedding day knowing that the man you are marrying really thinks you are someone else. Imagine the heartbreak that came to Leah that night when Jacob discovered the truth and ran to her father insisting that her sister Rachel become his wife too. She did not even have the spotlight on her wedding day. There was no tender exchange of personalized vows, no deep look of admiration.
There was no celebratory kiss as they were pronounced husband and wife. If anything, there was a shriek of horror in the bridal suite when Leah’s identity was revealed. Can’t you hear Leah’s heart breaking?
She only wanted to be loved. For once in her life Leah did not want to come in second place. Ugly and unloved—that’s not a good combination. Especially when Miss America is your sister—and you share the same husband. It was probably safe to guess Leah spent more nights alone than Rachel did. Leah was probably forgotten. She was the wife Jacob never wanted. And because of that I am sure Leah lived a life she never wanted. But Jacob’s unwanted wife was the one who bore him Judah. From Leah’s womb came the son that established the lineage from which the Messiah would come.
She may have been Jacob’s unwanted wife, but she was God’s chosen daughter. Funny isn’t it, that God doesn’t care about gene pools and that He chose the ugly daughter to be in the blood line of His Son? I guess some things really are less important than we think. In our eyes it is the girl with the blonde highlights and the French manicure that has worth. It’s the prom queen or softball captain that has value. It’s the class president who matters to everyone else.
But that’s not how God works. God likes the ugly sisters, in fact God even loves the ugly sisters. He thinks they’re beautiful. And let’s be honest, at one time or another we have all felt like the ugly sister or the lame sidekick of a best friend.
There’s hope for those of us who feel less than beautiful. God has a place reserved for those of us who always wind up at the end of the line and the bottom of the list. He specializes in using those whom the world has cast aside, and those most people forget about the moment after they meet them.
Leah’s role in history became pivotal in the lives of people she would never meet. This simple girl who probably spent most days feeling as if she wouldn’t be missed if she just up and left, became a valuable piece in the puzzle of God’s plan for bringing the world a Savior. What an incredible thought!
So, how do you stop comparing yourself to other girls? Simple. You remember Leah’s story. The sister that Jacob rejected was the sister that God chose. You have no need to compete with other girls. God has a story for you that’s uniquely your own.
What are some ways you tend to fall into the comparison trap? When are you most vulnerable to comparing yourself to other girls? Did it surprise you to learn that Leah—the ugly sister—was in the lineage of the Messiah?