The following is part 2 in a series written by Meredith Young. To read part 1 click here.
It took five years for it to dawn on me: Prince Charming was a myth.
And I don’t say this with a cynical voice anymore; I say it as truth. The stories we were told as children were just stories – to base our expectations off of fairytales has been fruitless and harmful to our development as the beautiful young women we were created to be. We have so strived to be that idea of a princess and have ended up with broken hearts.
The only stories we are to believe are true, and it just so happens that the most romantic book written is the Bible. Instead of thinking of it as God’s rulebook, think of it as God’s answer to fairytales.
Instead of an elusive object to seek after, like a prince, we have a relationship to pursue, which God has already begun with us. It was the sacrifice of His Son that gave us the greatest freedom we will ever experience. We are freed of our endless pursuit of the princess ideal; in Him, we are free to be ourselves and find complete acceptance.
Having a relationship with God doesn’t get rid of all those pressures of perfection, but it certainly makes it easier to have someone perfect adoring you! When we toss aside those unrealistic expectations for the perfect prince, we also open ourselves up to more meaningful friendships with our guy friends – our brothers in Christ – and later on, perhaps romantic relationships.
When the expectations for ourselves change, we are then able to be more accepting of the opposite gender, rather than being frustrated at their lack of perfection. I definitely support the idea of having a set list of things that you want in your future husband, or even the guys you may date, but realize that they must be real things; the perfect human being exists only in Christ, and each man will have flaws. It’s realizing what things are non-negotiable, things like a strong faith, good morals, a handsome smile, or intelligence – whatever you value most, realizing that every man will have flaws.
When I was twelve years old, before I met Peter and made all of those grand mistakes of insecurity, I made a list of things I wanted to find in a guy. Over the years, that list has been edited as I grew as a person, but the basic foundation is still there. Let me share with you my list:
- God-loving, God-fearing, God-serving heart.
- A sense of humor
- A handsome smile OR thoughtful eyes
- Humble intelligence
- Godly leadership skills and the will to use them
- Ability to own up to and apologize for mistakes
- Compassion
- Self-control
- Strong church home & a solid group of male friends
- Ability to appreciate, if not understand
- Strength – physically and emotionally.
Four years ago, I met a guy who I never would have given a second thought. This June, I’ll be marrying that guy. He’s not perfect—he deals with anger, frustration, and selfishness just like everyone—but he is perfect for me.
Our gifts and personalities complement each other by bringing out the best – just what God designed. When we find ourselves content in the Lord, He will grant us the deepest desires of our hearts. It is only a matter of allowing His romance to drown out the legend of Prince Charming.
